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WhenIRealizedIwasProudtobeFemale

Samantha Neely
over 2 years United States Story
When I Realized I was Proud to be Female

Throughout my life, I had always noticed the bias against my gender. Even as a child, I noticed how various adults implanted the idea of how girls were supposed to dress, act and talk about. We were supposed to be dainty, polite princesses who loved to dress up and play with dolls. Yet, I saw the boys in my class be called, "future presidents," and "future doctors." I was always just a princess. As I got older, it still continued with more harsher barriers. Girls were weak, so they should just become housewives and take care of their family while it was the men who were the strong bread winners. Women are nothing more than their husband and children. Now with social media, the bias was even stronger with the amount of comments about how a woman should be, with commenting, "slut," on a female celebrity's photo or expressing sympathy for rapists. I have found that the fact that I am female brings a lot of unfair, and unwanted prejudice into my life. It also allowed for some revolting, yet eye opening experiences.

 There was one experience that had hit me hard and will always stick with me. It had happened was last summer while eating lunch in Philadelphia with a male family member. This family member always had problematic views, but I was not around him a lot. It took me way too many years to realize how sexist and racist he was and this lunch was no different. It was a few months after the Brock Turner case came into light. It enraging that a boy could rape a woman, damaging her in ways he could not comprehend, yet his only punishment would only be six months in jail. I saw media outlets describe him as, "a bright boy with a promising future," and in the same breath claim the victim was at fault because, "she was drunk and too old to be at the party." It had struck a chord in my heart and made me feel so hollow as not only a person, but a woman. As my family member and I were wrapping up our meal, we came into that discussion about the case. For brief moment, I believed he was on my side. That despite his problematic views, he did see the fault of the whole situation and was equally as disgusted by Turner. 

Then, he uttered the words, "Maybe she deserved it."

I couldn't even look at him, let alone speak to him in that moment. How could he? How could he say that girl deserved to wake up in a hospital to find out she has been assaulted by some guy at a party? How could he even dare to sympathize with a weak boy who could not keep it in his pants? My chest felt like somebody had punched me and broke my ribs. It made it all the worse knowing it was coming from my own family member. I heard this statement a lot when it came to rape cases. I distinctly remember a female college student carrying the mattress she was assaulted on as a protest. Many people online attacked her for her actions, claiming she was a liar or being over dramatic and of course, she deserved it. It sickened me seeing all the abuse she was getting for protesting that her rapist was never expelled. I knew women were most of time received the short end of the stick and had rape cases overlooked. Yet, it did not really hit me until this conversation that I realized I really did have littlerespect as a woman and that, god forbid, if it I was in that traumatic situation, I would have little support. And I am a white cis woman. If I was a woman of color or a part of the LGBTQ community, my case would be so much worse.

 He instantly changed the topic to something about the art museum we were going to. I went along with it since I couldn't even form words to argue with him. As the day went on, it did become light hearted as we walked through the museum. I couldn't get his words out of my head, though. Whenever I saw a painting of a woman, it just took me back to that moment. My chest still felt incredibly sore and my head hurt when the words flashed in my mind. To this day, I still think about them. I thought about them when I heard Brock Turner was released from jail after only serving three months in jail. As I go into the next chapter of my life, it terrifies me knowing I am going into adulthood knowing that our justice system and many people still have little respect for women. That includes women of color, trans women, disabled women and more.

Yet, it empowers me to rise above it and fight for my equal rights as a women. I want to inspire other women to join the women's movement to help all women, regardless of sexuality, race, religion or if they are able bodied. Seeing the support we already have from those who participated in the Women's March on DC has made me especially proud to be a feminist and a woman. I want to see our society become one that fully embraces women of all kind. I want women to no longer have to fight for justice when they are assaulted. I want gender roles to disappear. I want men to realize that they also do not need to conform to hyper-masculinity and that is it okay to show emotions. I want women to be on equal playing fields as men. I truly want people to understand what feminism is and that we do just want to be equal in the eyes of everyone. And I know that future will happen one day.

 The future is female.


7 replies

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  • Kelly Logan 94
    over 2 years ago

    Hey This is my ex husband account to show how honesty he is right now..I'm sorry about this but i have to do this to express how i feel right now. My husband seek for divorce with no reasons for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have him back cos i really love him so much but all my effort didn't work out, we met at our early age in college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and he woke up one morning and he told me he’s going on a divorce, i thought it was a joke and when he came back from work he tender to me a divorce letter and he packed all his belonging from my house and left. i was devastated and i tried all i could to have him back but all did not work. I was lonely for almost 4 years, So i contacted a man who says he is a spell caster and i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for his full name and his picture. I gave him that. At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos i have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution, so when he finished with the readings, he got back to me that he’s with a woman and that woman is the reason why he left me, The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring him back, but i never believe all this he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days. 3 days later, he called me himself and came to me apologizing and he told me he will come back home. I can't believe this, it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution. The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and i got pregnant a month later, we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid. This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him, he has helped many of my friends too with similar problem and they are happy and thankful to him. This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster i have ever experienced in life. Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out. you can reach him here: website http://marvelspelltemple.webs.com/ EMAIL: marvelspelltemple@gmail.com or on +2348071660388

    Hey This is my ex husband account to show how honesty he is right now..I'm sorry about this but i have to do this to express how i feel right now. My husband seek for divorce with no reasons for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have him back cos i really love him so much but all my effort didn't work out, we met at our early age in college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and he woke up one morning and he told me he’s going on a divorce, i thought it was a joke and when he came back from work he tender to me a divorce letter and he packed all his belonging from my house and left. i was devastated and i tried all i could to have him back but all did not work. I was lonely for almost 4 years, So i contacted a man who says he is a spell caster and i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for his full name and his picture. I gave him that. At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos i have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution, so when he finished with the readings, he got back to me that he’s with a woman and that woman is the reason why he left me, The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring him back, but i never believe all this he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days. 3 days later, he called me himself and came to me apologizing and he told me he will come back home. I can't believe this, it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution. The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and i got pregnant a month later, we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid. This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him, he has helped many of my friends too with similar problem and they are happy and thankful to him. This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster i have ever experienced in life. Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out. you can reach him here: website http://marvelspelltemple.webs.com/ EMAIL: marvelspelltemple@gmail.com or on +2348071660388

  • Martha Walson
    over 2 years ago

    Amazed by this post! Keep up the good work!

    Amazed by this post! Keep up the good work!

    • Samantha Neely
      over 2 years ago United States

      Thank you! I really appreciate it! 

      Thank you! I really appreciate it! 

      • Martha Walson
        over 2 years ago

        By the way, Samantha, not only is the future feminine, the present is already feminine also if you believe in what you do as a woman - not because of what society thinks you how you should do or at. As people say, don't let the gender hurt you.

        By the way, Samantha, not only is the future feminine, the present is already feminine also if you believe in what you do as a woman - not because of what society thinks you how you should do or at. As people say, don't let the gender hurt you.

        • Samantha Neely
          over 2 years ago United States

          Oh, definitely! I am amazed by the women of today, as well as women of the past and future. We have so many amazing women as role models, such as Michelle Obama to Malala Yousafzai! I am even inspired by the wonderful writers in this hub. I am always reminded about how wonderful our gender is and how strong we women area 

          Oh, definitely! I am amazed by the women of today, as well as women of the past and future. We have so many amazing women as role models, such as Michelle Obama to Malala Yousafzai! I am even inspired by the wonderful writers in this hub. I am always reminded about how wonderful our gender is and how strong we women area 

  • jackie1993
    over 2 years ago

    Great reflection!

    Great reflection!

    • Samantha Neely
      [deleted]
      over 2 years ago United States

      [deleted]

      [deleted]

    • Samantha Neely
      over 2 years ago United States

      Thank you so much! 

      Thank you so much! 


An 18-year-old aspiring writer and medical researcher. Loves politics, equality for all and dogs.

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