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What Your Starbucks Drink Is Saying About You

Starbucks is life, is it not? I mean, we aren’t saying it’s the best coffee on the planet, but can you really imagine a life without Starbucks? Where would you meet up for Tinder dates? Where would 15 minute interviews be conducted? Where would half-focused college students attempt to finish their studying? And c’mon, you know you have a usual there. Wouldn’t you like to know what your what your Barista is thinking when you order it?

Caramel Macchiato
What You’re Thinking: How cool does caramel macchiato sound? I sound like a legit coffee connoisseur. Car-a-mel macchiato. I bet it sounds cooler with an accent. I should try that next time.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: Another caramel macchiato? Good thing these are easy to make. This stuff is basically caramel flavored milk… why do people pay $6 for it?


Vanilla Latte
What You’re Thinking: My comfort classic. It’s so dependable, always there for me. Just like my Dr. Scholl’s insoles. Vanilla latte, you never let me down.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: I wonder if she always gets this drink. She looks pretty safe. Vanilla ice-cream, vanilla cookie, vanilla life. Hm. She looks like she’d make a good employee too. And those shoes look super comfortable.


Green Tea
What You’re Thinking: Should I get it hot or iced? It was pretty warm at the farmer’s market; I think I’ll get it iced. I wonder if that’s recycled plastic they’re using. Woah, no splenda thanks.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: No sugar, I get it. Dont look at me like I just killed someone! Because you probably could. Your shoulders are more defined than mine. Dang.


Vanilla Bean Frappuccino

What You’re Thinking: Yuck, coffee. Why did I even come here? I should’ve just gotten a shake at McDonald’s. Oh well, at least I can Instagram this.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: Why are these still even on the menu? This isn’t even coffee. Such a guilty pleasure though. Like Ke$ha. Does she still make music?


Brewed Coffee
What You’re Thinking: 6th cup today, hurry up buddy. Got shit to do!
What Your Barista Is Thinking: I’m gonna pour this one exxttrrraaa sloooowww. Nobody’s that busy asshole!


Quad Half-Caf Breve No Foam With Whip Two Splenda Stirred Skinny Three Pump Peppermint Mocha
What You’re Thinking: Did I say that all right? I wonder which ordering of the words would make more sense. Calorie count 232. Workout count 574. Phew, in the clear! Oh no, did I just chip a nail?
What Your Barista Is Thinking: Are you kidding me? Does your handbag Yorkie want something too? Resist the urge to top it up with cream, you can do it!!

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