As we enter into the heart of wedding season, couples everywhere are preparing to commit their lives to one another. This is a beautiful thing! That said, anyone who is getting ready to head to the altar needs to be sure they are doing so with the person who is truly right for them. So, how can you know? Here are a few easy, essential steps to take before you officially tie the knot.
Step 1: Dig deeper into your love compatibility with the Real Reveal™ test. Find out more about yourself and your partner and take a very real look at whether you are in relationship with a true Soul Mate that has the potential to become a Life Mate. If your partner challenges you, “drives you crazy” (in the positive and negative connotations of this phrase) and sparks your deepest passions, you are likely on the right track.
Step 2: Affirm that you are genuinely comfortable with each other’s lifestyles. You will be making your two lives one, so while it’s not necessary for you to like all the same things or get along with every person in each other’s lives, a good blend of common interests and shared friendships is important as you grow this new, shared foundation.
Step 3: Explore each other’s past love role models. Take the time to share what your parents’ marriage (or not) was like and invite your betrothed to do the same. There are two important takeaways from this practice. One, whatever we each witnessed growing up is part of our behavioral experience. In other words, it’s in there somewhere, and when the going gets tough in our own relationships, we are likely to play out some version of what we witnessed as children. If either of you is the child of divorce or marital dysfunction, that fact is not necessarily a relationship death sentence; it simply means your mutual awareness of it and willingness to work through the emotions honestly and openly are vital to the health of your own partnership.
In fact, that’s the second key takeaway: The level of openness, honesty and emotional vulnerability each of you share with the other in this kind of conversation is a huge sign of how open, honest and vulnerable you will be within your own marriage.
Step 4: Road trip! No, seriously. Hitting the road together is a great way to show each other how you each handle everything from road snacks to road rage. Be prepared to show up and be your 100% authentic self. Your job on this trip is to pay attention to both your interactions with your partner and their interactions with the world and the circumstances at hand. How do you each handle traffic? Getting lost? Music selection? Sharing the driving? Choosing where to eat? And most importantly, are you having fun
Step 5: Look for deal breakers. Before you head to the altar, now is the time to honor your personal truth and be honest with yourself. Are there any things about your partner that go against your personal value system? It’s okay to challenge yourself to open your mind and think differently, but don’t ignore warning signs for fear of losing the relationship. Identifying and addressing these issues now is essential to starting your marriage on the right foot. If you go into marriage hoping that certain fundamental qualities of your partner will change eventually, he or she may not be the right person for you.
All of these steps are designed to give you more information about your future spouse, and give them the same about you. Be willing to go deep, get real and be honest with each other from the start and you’ll be well on your way to creating a beautiful life together.
Kailen Rosenberg is CEO and founder of The Love Architects, an elite matchmaking and love design firm that remodels the love lives of some of the world’s most influential people. She is transforming the face of love on this planet through her new Real Reveal™ test, which reveals the truth about who [...]