When it comes to finding that right-fit romantic partner in life, we’ve all heard plenty of talk about love readiness. Maybe we’ve even been part of those conversations, deeming ourselves or others as “ready”—or not—for love… but really, aren’t we all ready to be loved? All people need love to thrive. The question is, what type of love relationships are we capable of having?
In serving as a Celebrity Love Architect, I have worked with thousands of people in every phase of love and what I’ve discovered is that we fall into three main categories of love fluency. Before you read them, remember that each one of these is beautiful in its own right. Why? Because if you’re there, if you’re experiencing those life lessons, that’s your journey. That’s where your path forward begins.
Ego Mate – Your love fluency is underdeveloped. It’s as if you’ve got a hot-looking sports car and it’s just stuck there in the mud but you don’t care because, hey, you’ve got a hot sports car. You’re not trying to have more than that right now. You’re not trying to shift and change. However, the right mix of life circumstances can spark your desire to find a Soul Mate and nudge you towards evolving into one yourself.
Soul Mate – Ah, Soul Mates. We have such romantic notions of what a Soul Mate is, don’t we? And perhaps that’s natural given the fact that this phase is where about 80 – 90% of people find themselves. As a Soul Mate, your relationships are passionate and fiery. They contain every possible trigger that can be used as a mirror to the truth of who you really are, what you really believe and where you are truly coming from when it comes to love. Your ego still has a lot of power here. For example, if you’re so busy thinking you’ve “arrived” at the height of what love can be that you get stuck mistaking passion for love, you could be moving in the wrong direction.
To continue with the sports car analogy, when you’re a Soul Mate you’ve got that sexy car, still stuck in the mud more often than you’d like, but now you’re really trying to get moving. You’re finding traction where you can and you’re figuring out what steps you need to take to really get those wheels on the road towards a healthy, Life Mate relationship. The Soul Mate phase is one of transition, but are you moving towards or away from being a Life Mate?
Soul Mate people are either in what I call Transit 1 or Transit 2. Transit 1 is the healthier side of being a Soul Mate. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve learned a lot. You still keep tripping over yourself, but you’re taking in love’s lessons and you keep learning and growing. You’re on your way to love enlightenment and your relationships are starting to become more fulfilling.
In Transit 2, your tires are just spinning in the mud. It’s frustrating and you don’t really feel like you’re learning much in spite of how hard you’re trying. This is a painful spot to be in, with one broken relationship after another defining your love life. Still, there’s something in your soul that tells you there’s more out there for you, so you keep trying. Don’t give up, Transit 2 friends! There’s still hope.
Life Mate – When you reach the place of being a Life Mate, you have achieved love enlightenment. You’ve learned a lot when it comes to life and love and you’re at peace physically, emotionally and spiritually. You have healthy love to offer to a partner and are willing and able to receive the same. Your next step is to continue evolving within a healthy partnership. (We don’t stop evolving ‘til we’re dead!)
Love’s Past, Present and Future
Knowing what stage you are in now can help you determine where you’ve been in the past and your part in why past relationships have honestly failed. It can also help you to see what steps you can take right here, today, to continue along the path of love evolution. I—along with my dear friend and renowned international best-selling relationships author, Dr. Harville Hendrix—created the Real Reveal™ test to help anyone, anywhere who wants to understand where, who, what, why and most importantly how to have the very best that’s been waiting on you when it comes to love. Once you open that doorway to understanding, you open a new pathway for personal growth and transformation. Your future in love is yours to create.
If you’re ready to commit to your own love evolution…
1. Take the Real Reveal test.
2. Discover and face the truth of where you are currently when it comes to love.
3. Get the support you need to guide you to the next healthiest phase in love; consider working with a certified Love Designer.
4. Go to a place where you can meet like-minded people who are at the same level of desire to learn about love so you can grow and learn together.
Remember, every stage of love is beautiful in its own way. Wherever you are now, you are not alone. There are thousands of other people working through a similar place in their own experience of love. Your ongoing willingness to learn and grow is the key to continuing your love evolution and, when the time is right, to finding your Life Mate.
Kailen Rosenberg is CEO and founder of The Love Architects, an elite matchmaking and love design firm that remodels the love lives of some of the world’s most influential people. She is transforming the face of love on this planet through her new Real Reveal™ test, which reveals the truth about who [...]