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9mo Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States Story
What It Means to Be Happily Single

There seems to be a general consensus in society that single people are miserable and are just waiting to find their “better half.” 

It’s true that humans are social creatures and it seems like most people do want to find a special someone, but that doesn’t mean that this is everyone’s main priority.

Some of us do actively try to find someone to pair up with, which is normal. 

But some of us choose to put our love lives in Fate’s hands, which is also normal.

After spending some time during my teenage and early college years trying to figure out what would be the best way to meet that special someone, I became tired of this process. Every time I went out with someone, something went wrong, and I kept wondering whether or not I will be alone forever, until one day, I decided that it doesn’t matter.

One day, I decided that searching for Prince Charming is too exhausting and might be pointless, anyway, because many people seem to meet one another by chance.

I decided to focus on simply living my life and allowing Fate to mold my romantic future (if there will be one).

Suddenly, a calmness came over me and I’ve been much happier since that day. I stopped wondering how close I will become with every new person I meet and started to appreciate the moments that I did spend with people, which allowed me to enjoy our conversations more.

I realized that I can finally identify with the “happily single” crowd with which I never seemed to truly fit in.

To me, being “happily single” means:

  • Going out with friends solely for the purpose of spending time together, not to meet someone
  • Acknowledging past failed relationships as life events, but not dwelling on them
  • Being open to dating, but not worrying about when I will meet “Mr. Right”
  • Simply enjoying conversations with new people I meet, without worrying that I may never see them again
  • Being choosier about potential love interests, rather than going out with someone just for the sake of having a date
  • Appreciating Valentine’s Day as a regular national holiday, by either celebrating it with friends or simply using it as an excuse to get chocolate
  • Enjoying extra flexibility in my schedule
  • Focusing better on important tasks
  • Attributing more time to hobbies/improving skills

In short, being “happily single” can be described as focusing on the present and reducing stress.

Interestingly, this seems to be the recipe for happiness that is often prescribed to all people regardless of their relationship status, but it fits particularly well in this scenario.

Healthy romantic relationships are wonderful and it makes me happy to see people who are part of one, but relying on a relationship to be the primary source of happiness is not healthy.

Although we are social creatures, we are first and foremost individuals. Therefore, I believe that it is important to learn how to be happy independently. That way, when we finally do meet someone special, we will be able to share our happiness with that person and maximize the amount of positive energy in the relationship.

Maybe someday I will fall in love and get married.

Maybe I won’t.

In any case, the sun will rise each day.

cover image: 4ever

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Viktorya is a 24-year old coffee addict and researcher navigating life in the city of brotherly love. She enjoys art, science, yoga, and running, especially towards [...]

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