I was sitting in my car yesterday, enjoying a free Slurpee from 7-11, while listening to a throwback jam countdown on the radio. The songs, all highlights from my formative years, made me blush and remember some memories I'd rather forget. In particular, it stirred up some nostalgia around the crazy, awkward and embarrassing crap I used to do to win my crushes over. Let's take a look:
- I memorized 50 Cent's entire Get Rich or Die Tryin' album in an attempt to impress my high school crush with my impeccable white girl rapping skills. I still know all the lyrics to this day. #partytricks
- I knew my crush's class schedule so I'd time my classroom exit to sync with his, hoping I'd run into him in the hallway. I distinctly remember sitting in Biology and counting to 14 after the bell before emerging in the hallway as if it was some happy coincidence.
- I once rehabbed my whole wardrobe to impress a crush. Sophomore year of high school I wore elephant pants from Hot Topic, neckties like Avril Lavigne and those silly black rubber bracelets that you'd loop two together to make one. Right before junior year, I busted into orientation/back to school day with white booty hugging jeans, a red tank top, tan platform sandals and curled my hair. It was a made-for-tv-moment. My crush noticed. ;-)
- I had a huge crush on a guy but I didn't want to come off too strong or intimidating so I invited my friend to hang out with me every time I hung out with the guy. They ended up dating....
- In college, I posted passive aggressive and vague AOL Instant Messenger statuses hinting that I was brooding at a particular spot on campus. Then I'd go to that spot and wait, hoping my crush read the message and would come out to talk to me. Spoiler alert: he never did
- I once wrote a four page rhyming poem expressing my feelings for an older guy in college. I wrote the whole thing while listening to the Boondock Saints theme song on repeat for two solid hours. It didn't go over very well.
- I once ran a tutoring program for kids at a transitional housing program. I had a HUGE crush on one of my volunteer tutors (don't worry...we were the same age). He came once a week and I'd make sure I looked FLY AS HELL on that one day. My coworkers used to tease me about it. The remainder of the week I just looked ordinary.
- I once had a mutual-esq crush who went away on a study abroad program. I wrote him a letter every day he was gone in a composition notebook and gave him the collection of letters upon his return.
- I read The Kite Runner and around the same time happened to meet a really cute guy from Afghanistan who worked at a chicken restaurant. I ate a lot of chicken that summer.
- I invited a crush over for dinner and after rejecting the first 100 requests to hang out with various excuses, he finally agreed. It was Ash Wednesday. I'm Catholic and I made red beans and rice with sausage. I also somewhat forced a shoulder massage on him. We probably should have had fish.
- I'd curate mix tapes with songs that expressed my feelings and give them to my crushes. (Not all of them but a select few)
Oh to be young and awkward again! Now I'm just old and awkward! haha
M.A. is a doting dog mom, writing coach, writer, corporate communications manager, social media guru, comedian and journalist. She hopes to become the female Heisenberg of cold brew coffee.