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SingleisBetterThanSettling

Kerri Wheelock
Kerri Wheelock Writer and Editor of Sexual Education and Creative Writing Categories at SVHS
over 2 years United States Story
Single is Better Than Settling

By no means is any advice that I have ever written, or is any advice that I will ever write, including this, a catchall for everybody's life and everybody's situation. That being said, “looking for love” is a huge part of many individual’s lives. From a young age, a lot of people start looking at others in a potentially romantic light. We search for those who we are attracted to, and those who might be attracted to us, and we search for the qualities that we would want in a partner, along with plenty of other things pertaining to the idea that we should be dating somebody. What I think is important for people to note, especially young people and high school students, is that there is not necessarily any point in your life where you need to be seeing someone. Finding love will not validate your existence. Your existing validates your existence.


There are plenty of different reasons that people and teenagers feel desperate to be in love. Please know that there is no age limit on firsts. You do not need to date somebody for the first time before you graduate high school. You do not need to have sex with somebody before you turn a certain age. This is not to say that there is any problem with doing these things far before your friends, but it is to say that there is no problem with not doing these things until far after your friends, or not at all. Some people seem as though they want to date somebody just to know that they can date somebody. But there is no problem with not settling for a person that is any less than what you want. You should be able to be attracted to your partner, get along with your partner, and choose your partner, and not just enter into a relationship with them because they were willing to choose you. People have a hard time being alone. But, the way that I see it, it is better to be alone than to be in poor company. You should never have to settle for someone that you do not want to be with just for the act of being with someone.


End the idea that love is all that we should look for in life. End the idea that somebody needs to have certain experiences by a certain age. Even if our original purpose was to mate and reproduce, people have found so much more depth in life now. If you do not want to focus on a relationship, do not feel pressured to focus on a relationship. You can be completely consumed by your job, or your hobbies, or your friends, or anything else in your life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing somebody that you are interested in, and attracted to, and get along with, but you should never have to sacrifice your views or your standards for a person just so that you can have somebody. I do not mean to sound repetitive, but in a world where there can be career-focused women, or people completely uninterested in relationships at all, you should feel no pressure to be in a relationship unless you want to.



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  • hmcs1946
    hmcs1946 Writer, Blogger, Author
    2y ago USA

    What an excellent article. I am 71 and always say, "You can do bad by yourself." :)

    What an excellent article. I am 71 and always say, "You can do bad by yourself." :)


Kerri Wheelock
Writer and Editor of Sexual Education and Creative Writing Categories at SVHS

Currently a senior in high school with an aspiration to write and a passion for feminism.

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