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MyDreamisCruel,butMyGodisNot

Demi Chu
Demi Chu n. Graphophile; Believer of the Tiny White Host
1mo Philippines Story
My Dream is Cruel, but My God is Not

Standing so near yet so far away from the peak of your dreams, the very spot you wished for as a little child with tiny hands that knew of toy cars and plastic dolls. And you feel like the view is not that great from where you stand. You then wonder why no one stopped you from taking this road.


You took buses and trains that were too rusty to take you to places - but it did. You met people who took you for a ride then left you alone on the next stop with a brown suitcase and tears for breakfast. Sometimes nobody keeps an ear open to listen, so your knees hit the ground for the One who knows silent pleas when your heart is a dark, abandoned maze.


What a dreadful feeling to awake in what should be familiar territory but filled with angry humans who used to be the same dreamers as we. How sad that we wait for their wise words but instead, suffer under their condescending stares. “Only those who are great can aspire for a dream as big as this - a dream that we spun to reality with our gold threads and silk robes.”


But dreamcatchers, what does greatness really mean? If my brain does not hold the same knowledge as yours; if my eyes speak volumes of confusion - a contrast to your experienced vision; if my heart is really Pandora’s box of emotions waiting to be opened, and yours is a calm current amidst crashing waters; if my body is a mass of tiredness to yours that knows rest; and if my soul is Atlas carrying the sad, heavy existence of my world while yours freely know that some planets revolve around you... then do I cancel my right to be great? For the reason that I do not fit the mold?


Because I think greatness is born from the one who acknowledges. It is birthed from the acceptance that I cannot do this on the grounds of just my knowledge and experience. I cannot do this without my God who rules faith, hope, and love - and us. So I do not aspire to be worthy of the standards humans set for different dreams... what I aspire to be is to meet my God’s plans for me - halfway or however He wants me to find my peace. By His guidelines. Through His timeline. 


One story cannot have the same plot as other tales. I hope that when our feet stands on the fertile soil of what we envision and feel as success - that we are not engulfed by the thought that the view is great because we are above others but rather, the view will be spectacular once we share it with others. May we remain humbled by our journey for we are mere specks of dust but only harbouring God’s grace.


I hope that the dream is kind when the thoughts are cruel. But if the dream is cruel, I rest knowing that my God is not.


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Demi Chu
n. Graphophile; Believer of the Tiny White Host

Working for that 98¾ guarantee. Instagram: @demicchu

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