Recently I’ve found myself attempting to set off at full speed in my endeavors and goals. Towards the end of my senior year, I felt absolutely 0 excitement for graduation as weird as that might sound. While my family and peers claimed that it just hadn’t sunk in yet, I internally disagreed. Through the years, I’ve come to learn what really gets me fired up and honestly, I knew graduation wouldn’t be it.
Now, maybe it’s because of the amount of time it took me to get there or maybe it’s just due to my perception of the modern-day education system. The reason behind it all eludes me. However, several months out of college and I still care very little about my degree or the fact that I graduated. It doesn’t really feel like a huge accomplishment to me.
I’m motivated by what I can change. I’m motivated by the lasting impact I can make (potentially or definitively). I’m motivated by tackling something I perceive as a huge challenge and coming out on top.
With that being said, I was stoked about graduating because I saw it as an opportunity to finally leave the atmosphere of Penn State and explore the world and who I am as an individual in different ways.
My post-graduation plans were to hit the ground running. And I didn’t intend to start off in a casual jog. I planned on going from 0 to 100mph in as little time as possible. I’m not one who does well sitting still or moving slowly, I prefer to jump into things, experiment, analyze, and then fix any loose ends. Unfortunately, much to my dismay, I’ve learned that it’s impossible to do everything all of the time.
It’s just not sustainable.
And there’s not enough time in the day no matter how well you organize yourself or plan out your day.
Sometimes things just happen in life that’ll deter you. That’s just how things go in life. Personally, I’ve come to refer to this phenomenon as the life variable. With my recent statements in mind, it can still be difficult to accept those obstacles. To list just a few of my goals, I want to create a music album in the future, get more involved in photography, grow my side business TheGymStop, write a new non-fiction book for college students, finish my comic book, create diamond-hard lasting relationships with my friends and family, and travel for the sake of learning about how others live.
And those goals are just scratching the surface.
While I think the ambition is there, the difficulty is accepting that I need to slow down and move at a reasonable pace to accomplish all of those things.
Without repeating myself too much, I think it’s best to slow down and tackle a few things at a time in order to truly make consistent progress, which over time will seem like fast results.
…or so I hope.
For me, time is always on my mind. I’m always thinking about condensing certain activities like sleeping or eating as much as I can in order to tackle my goals. Honestly, I try to sleep about 5-6 hours a night in order to maximize my productivity during the day (which works well for the most part). As far as eating, I try to eat meals that I can consume within 10 mins or so. I don’t necessarily enjoy spending a long time eating meals. It sounds weird but this is how I find the most enjoyment.
Sometimes, however, I can’t help but wonder if my ambition can be somewhat of a double-edged sword. Will my desire to succeed, to win, come at the cost of personal relationships or valuable experiences that can never be regained? I’m unsure. Currently, I haven’t seen too much evidence to support that thought but it’s always in the back of my mind.