I was still a baby when you met me. I remember snuggling contentedly in the palm of your hand. I had no idea who you were, or who you would be, but your hand was warm, and that was all that I needed at the time. Soon, you would put me into the pocket of your old hoodie and take me to what would be our home. I did not ask for you to save me, but you did, and I would forever be grateful.
It took a while for me to adjust in our new home. Before you took me in, I was allowed to tinkle anywhere I wanted. You never yelled at me, though. You would just sigh, hug me, and put me aside as you clean up the mess I made. You were so proud of me when I finally learned to use the bathroom like you did.
Even as I grew bigger, you continued to let me sleep in your bed. You would often complain of aches and pains in the morning, but you never sent me to sleep on the floor. I would greet you every day when you come home. You would pick me up, give me a kiss and a hug, and take me with you to the computer where we would spend the next few hours watching random videos. Your phone would fill up with photos and videos of me doing random things that make you happy. You would always call me stupid, but with a great big smile on your face, and always with a hug afterwards.
All these things tell me that you love me, that you loved me dearly. I need no assurance of how much you loved me. This is why I know it broke your heart when the vet told you it would cost you thousands to save my life once more. Money that I knew you would part with eagerly if only you had it. I knew you were barely able to make ends meet.
I knew you could not bear to see me suffer. I could hear you sobbing the whole time as you put me inside the paper bag. I could see the tears in your eyes as you hugged and kissed me for the last time, holding me tighter than ever before putting me back in the bag. I knew you wanted to take me back home instead of leaving me in that empty lot, but you could not stand to watch me die.
I forgave you as you turned your back on me and walked away. I was too weak to even call out one last time to tell you that. A few minutes after you left, the rain started falling. The cold drops sent painful shivers all over my limp body. The darkness would not take me right away. I would spend a couple of hours more, gasping for breath as I drown in the puddle that has formed around me. In my final moments, I think of you, my human. In this moment, I no longer need food. I no longer need warmth. I don’t even need to live longer. I just need you.