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Catherine F.
7mo Saint-Georges, QC, Canada Story
How To Deal With Post-Breakup Questions

It happened. 

You wish it has not but you can't change the facts; you are no longer a lover. Someday you get a call from the inside. It's the old you, the single one. The wild and untamed person you were before. She heard you weeping and frankly believes it is time for you to be pushed aside, and for her to shine again. When the call finally ends, an amazing idea strikes you and it feels like an urge, a duty, a mandate you have to fulfill in order to let the single you take control again. You will finally get the answers you are looking for, and that will bring you closure. 

YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG. Why? Because you tried that already with a past relationship and it did not make you feel better. Still, I know you will do it anyway.

1.  Why did our relationship end? 

Write the list of the pros and the cons of the relationship you are trying to get over; what it brought you, what did not suit you, etc. Nearly 9 times out of 10, the cons will be heavier and  will lead you to the conclusion that it just wasn't right for you. Focus on that and don't try to go further with that question, it will only make it worse.

2. Do you still think about me sometimes?

Are you kidding me? Take a Sharpie and just go across that question with it in your mind. Great, then move on and remember that even if he did, this relationship wasn't right for you . Don't hold on to the small piece of hope you still cherish with that question.

3. What did you tell your new girlfriend about me?

I am telling you, you don't want to know the answer to that question. It might/certainly will hurt.

4. How did you respond when people asked you about me and why it ended?

Sorry to say, but he also has his own list of pros and cons, and that list is classified Secret Defense. There is no way you will know all the reasons, no matter what your spy friends told you they have heard from your ex (of course you mandated your pals to sneak a little).

5. Was I a crazy girlfriend?

Inside each one of us lies a crazy girlfriend side.  That doesn't mean you were crazy all along, but sure, sometimes you were and you would probably be surprised to hear about his definition of your crazy doings. Don't ruin it all; don't ask that question.

6. Would you like to hang sometimes?

I will say it again, you deserve better. Don't waste any more time gathering old pieces of a broken plate. You lost your partner, you lost your friend, simple equation. Once you'll be completely healed, you might consider getting in touch and maybe then, friendship will be possible, but first, let time make its job and spend quality moments with your family and friends, rebuild yourself.

7. Did you move on yet?

A closed question like this only leads to two answers: it's either yes or no. On both sides you will hurt yourself. If he says no, the little piece of hope you are trying to hide from the public view doesn't need much to come alive and it will drive you crazy knowing that he isn't over you but still doesn't come back. On the other hand, it is never easy to feel like we are the only one that still feels the pain. Heal, move on, and avoid looking up on social media to answer this one. Trust me, it is even more painful.

I know there are a hundred more you burn to ask, but remember that you are your own priority, you are amazing and loved, and someday, when you least expect it, someone will fall from the sky directly in your arms (or not, but surely, you will meet someone better for you and hopefully you won't have to read that article again).

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