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HowdoIGetPastaBreakupduetoGuiltorRegrets?

Dear Sybersue
Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist
over 1 year Vancouver, BC, Canada Story
How do I Get Past a Breakup due to Guilt or Regrets?


In this video above Dear Sybersue talks about how to get past a breakup due to an ongoing guilty conscience and having many regrets about what happened in the relationship!

Regardless of who initiated the end of the relationship it can still have a lingering effect on both people dealing with the breakup. There are many factors that come into play and everyone deals with heartbreak differently.

Here are a few things that may make you feel guilty or why you may have regrets about the demise of your relationship:

  1. Did you break up with your partner due to a silly argument and now you regret acting so hastily?
  2. Was there cheating involved and this is the reason for your breakup?
  3. Did you leave you partner due to a medical situation you couldn't deal with?
  4. You were controlling and jealous all the time? You have trust issues?
  5. You weren't over an Ex relationship which inhibited you from giving 100% to your new relationship. 
  6. You have major commitment issues that you have never dealt with.
  7. You became complacent & stopped nurturing your relationship.
  8. Did you end things because you thought you could do better?

How can someone move on if all they think about is what transpired with their Ex? What can they do? What should they do so that they can move on towards a healthier path?

  • The most important thing is to take ownership for your part in the breakup. 
  • If you screwed up and want them back, tell them that! Don't have regrets for the rest of your life because you were too afraid to make things right.
  • Don't leave things left unsaid regardless of who initiated the ending of the partnership. Everyone needs closure to move on.
  • Be kind to them if they need to talk in the early stages. Not everyone moves on at the same pace and you did love them once. Don't forget that. 
  • Do not give in and have breakup sex if they have clearly moved on. It will only prolong the agony of what's "not going to be" and make you feel even worse regardless of who initiated it.
  • When someone tells you they don't love you or have lost feelings for you, believe them! It hurts like Hell but you don't have to read between the lines. 
  • Don't be friends and hang out all the time. This will NOT help either of you move on and will only give you false hope that you may get back together. You can revisit the friendship thing at a much later date when you heart has healed. 

Please watch the video and leave your comments below! 

I would love to hear what you did in a situation like this.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show


2 replies

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  • Maddy Bernstein
    over 1 year ago

    How do you know when you are ready to be friends with an ex again or at least be able to see them @Dear Sybersue?

    How do you know when you are ready to be friends with an ex again or at least be able to see them @Dear Sybersue?

    • Dear Sybersue
      Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist
      over 1 year ago Vancouver, BC, Canada

      @Maddy Bernstein The answer to this depends on where your heart is after the breakup. If you still have feelings for them it is not a good idea to put yourself in the friend zone with your EX. If there has been sufficient time to move on emotionally from them and you know you are over them, then it should be OK. If being friends hinders you from having another relationship, you are definitely not ready. Ask yourself why you want to be friends with them? What is in it for you? You broke up for a reason so maybe you're not meant to be in each other's life right now or ever? That's not a bad thing, it just means you have moved on to a place that is healthier for you. We have friends for a reason, season or a lifetime; which one of these does your EX fit into? <3

      @Maddy Bernstein The answer to this depends on where your heart is after the breakup. If you still have feelings for them it is not a good idea to put yourself in the friend zone with your EX. If there has been sufficient time to move on emotionally from them and you know you are over them, then it should be OK. If being friends hinders you from having another relationship, you are definitely not ready. Ask yourself why you want to be friends with them? What is in it for you? You broke up for a reason so maybe you're not meant to be in each other's life right now or ever? That's not a bad thing, it just means you have moved on to a place that is healthier for you. We have friends for a reason, season or a lifetime; which one of these does your EX fit into? <3


Dear Sybersue
Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist

Susan McCord known as "Dear Sybersue" around the Web, helps millennials and gen-exers find love and inspiration. As a mature woman, she has "been there done that" and has so many T-shirts she can open a store! Susan believes that we are all special and deserving of happiness. People get lost along [...]

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