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rafaelchiuzi Rafael Chiuzi, Ph.D.
4mo Burlington, ON, Canada Story
Growing up in a macho-man culture household

I grew up in a macho-man culture household. I didn't know that back then, I know that now. For me all was "normal", that's probably why I didn't know any better.

The macho-man figure had this culture that in his house (yes, it was HIS house - not ours) women did everything: cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing, praising men, looking beautiful, taking care of the kids, taking care of elders and also provide good sex when required. Also, they didn't have a voice, and when stepping out of line, they had to be put back in their places.

Women were forbidden to work outside, that's why my mom grew up to think she was no good unless she baked a cake or cleaned the house spotless.

I'm not gonna lie to you. When I look back, I feel both disgusted and nauseated because I didn't do nothing. Today, gladly my mom got divorced and I don't speak with macho-man anymore.

Fortunately, as for myself, I studied my way out of it. Married a great woman and now we are raising our kids (boy & girl) to be thoughtful feminists. Now I know that a lot of my childhood friends would cringe reading this thinking that my boy would grow up to be a faggot (pardon my language, but this is how they speak) and my daughter would burn her underwear in a protest rally somewhere.

Far from it, we want them to be happy, and find meaning in their lives. And we think this cannot be achieved in an uneven world where some hold more privilege than others. I want to tell my daughter that she can have the same pay, promotion and business opportunities as my son. I want to tell my son that her sister will have the same opportunities as him.

In a nutshell, I've learned the hard way how misogynists can do permanent damage to women's lives. That's why my wife and I struggle daily to raise our kids with the equity lens. Hopefully, they will be change agents and create some positive impact wherever they go.

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1 comment

  • Sasha Blemming
    4mo ago

    It seems like you and your wife are on a good path to raising your kids with more awareness for those arounds them! Good for you both!

    It seems like you and your wife are on a good path to raising your kids with more awareness for those arounds them! Good for you both!

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Rafael Chiuzi, Ph.D.

Psychologist Ph.D. with the legitimate desire of helping people. Assistant Professor of Organizational Behaviour at the University of Toronto Mississauga. Father of two. Amateur tennis player trying to get better at it.

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