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FacingAgePressure

Facing Age Pressure

            I wanted to put this out there, since it’s been on my mind lately. After a nice little chat with a cousin of mine (thank you, Sabrina!), I was inspired to write this.

            I find that there’s so much age-related pressure these days. It’s frustrating, like how we’re bombarded by the beauty industry or beauty trends to buy anti-aging products, or be tempted to undergo cosmetic surgery, or other treatments to appear younger. However, it’s not something I tend to think about often or obsess with. Then there’s the whole worrying or contemplation phase, where we might feel like we aren’t doing enough or are doing too much at our age. We might panic that there’s not enough time to do this or that by the time we are __ years old. There are many expectations from others and/or society of us and it can literally make our heads spin, mine included and feel like we’ve reached a breaking point or hit rock bottom. It definitely doesn’t help when social media can take a blow to how we feel about ourselves. Everything seems like a blur and emotions are all over the place, from that built up pressure. It’s super stressful, isn’t it? I totally feel your pain. I’m right there with you, because it’s happened to me multiple times and counting.

YOUR GOALS, VALUE AND TALENT

            I’m here to say that in this case, age is just a number! Seriously, amen to that. What really resonated with me was the #INeverExpire campaign by SK-II. In a way, it’s kind of like music; sure there are songs we may love from the 70s, let’s say, but no matter how many times we listen, it never gets old. Music doesn’t have an expiration date anyway. It’s timeless. In addition, look up the history of fashion designers with classic pieces, that last for generations in style and can never be forgotten. Growing older means you’ll simply become wiser, with boundless knowledge and gain tons of rich experiences, which lead to long-lasting memories. Savour these special moments held in your heart, because they are so precious and can end before you realize it.

           As my cousin told me, you are just as valuable now as you were a few years ago. As well, instead of reminiscing on your past accomplishments, focus on your future goals, short-term and long-term. For example: You purchased a house? Incredible! I send my congrats. Now move on to your next goal. You’ll be setting goals for yourself constantly, but be realistic and make them measurable. Furthermore, instead of wasting time doubting yourself, you could actually spend it more wisely by seeing yourself maximizing your full potential! Fill yourself with love, not hate. You’ll forever amount to something, not nothing. You’re competent. You’re amazing in every way. You’re invincible. You’re doing a fantastic job. I hope you realize that. Your value and worth remain the same, if not, more than. Don’t you forget it.

         Besides, you’ll always have something to bring to the table and to the world. Musicians help reach millions of people when they put their songs out there; music is a universal language that anyone can relate to and connect with. Or think of JK Rowling when she published Harry Potter – enough said. So you hear that inner voice that’s screaming to be heard? Well, it’s telling you that you have a gift too and to go utilize and share it, because the world could really make use of your talent. In fact, you may discover having more than one gift. We need you. You got to give yourself a little bit more credit, right?        

AGING IS PART OF THE NATURAL PROCESS

         You see those grey or white strands of hair, fine lines, wrinkles or possibly crow’s feet? There’s nothing wrong with that or with you. It’s entirely nothing to be ashamed of. These are marks that tell a story, a part of your history of who you are and have been there for you over time. You and I are human. Of course we’re going to get older and age. It’s only natural! What are you afraid of? Take a look at your grandparents, who I’m sure are wonderful and sweet people. Even Betty White is still going strong with her enthusiasm and sense of humour. Lyn Slater, also known as Accidental Icon (link is down below) is another perfect example, who totally embraces her age and is just as fabulous, intelligent and lively as ever; not to mention with impeccable fashion sense too. I find these marks as unique as your fingerprints, personality or penmanship and guess what? They still don’t make you any less beautiful. Please believe that. Why not celebrate what your body can do? The one you’ve been given and were born with. Be thankful for its movements or range of motion, the internal state of being, and that you’re still breathing with your blood flowing and heart beating. Listen to what it needs. Be the best with how you feel about yourself and from what’s inside. Learn how to flatter yourself, honour your true beauty and body. Cheers for positivity, love, respect and acceptance!

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

           If you’re 18, 30, 45 years old or whichever age, do the next best thing for yourself, because nothing is ever certain - unless you’re psychic or something. I don’t know about you, but the way I see it, figuring out our lives is like one giant puzzle or an unsolved riddle. Picture the universe or the ocean; we think we have it all figured out, but there are still tons left more to discover throughout time and that’s a GOOD thing. Perhaps, it’s a maintenance thing such as self-care, juggling responsibilities and demands, your home or your car. You cannot assume that exactly everything will go according to plan during your entire lifetime. Life isn’t a script. You cannot expect people and/or things to follow along with it. This isn’t a rehearsal and you’re not auditioning either, because life isn’t made to be 100% perfect. We cannot grow from perfection, anyway. The future is unwritten.

         You’re allowed to change your mind, if you want to choose a new, unfamiliar path here and there. For instance, it’s not likely that you’ll remain in the same job/career years from now. Unless it’s something you want to stick to, then I commend you. You can also try different things to figure out what you like or don’t like to pursue other interests. Never turn down opportunities just because you’re frightened or be confined to just strictly one general area. Searching for avenues and resources to expand your growth can take you places faster, as you navigate through life. Let me tell you, anything can change within the next day, month, half a year from now, etc. I know, it’s insane! Wouldn’t you want to live an unpredictable life than one where you go from just A to B to C? Hopefully that’s a yes. Similar to success, our pathways will be full of zigzags, scribbles, twists and turns, not linear but scattered. Let them take course. Be flexible. Have some spontaneity. Add some variety, or spice and flavour, if you will. You might as well enjoy the wild ride before it’s over.

NO REGRETS

           Please don’t ever think poorly of yourself, view who you are in a negative light, or feel guilty that you didn’t accomplish certain things by a certain age – especially when it comes to adulting. Talk about too damn relatable. Honestly, I hate that because everyone’s different. We’re NEVER the same. You have the rest of your life to do what’s best for you. It’s ok!! This isn’t a rat race. Have no shame! We interpret life in numerous and possibly distinctive ways. Please don’t feel like you robbed yourself by the choices and changes you’ve made, or the circumstances you’ve faced. Your life isn’t over, because your journey doesn’t end here just yet. It’s up to you to fill in the blank pages. There’s so much more to come and look forward to. I swear, you’re not missing out. The only time you’re missing out is when you don’t become aware of what’s going on around you, and in front of you, especially when things move fast. You get to live as you choose on your terms as long as you have a clear vision, a plan put into action and a sense of direction. Why not bend the rules a bit? Do it for YOU as you are the sole decision maker when it comes to investing in your life. Don’t stress – manage. Stressing out leads to nowhere beneficial. If you’re feeling down, tell yourself how awesome you are! Lift your spirit. Cheer yourself up like you would with your best friend or a family member. You live with yourself, so you might as well be more supportive and boost your mood. Even spending time with the right people such as your loved ones, the ones who stuck by you, will remind you of your positive qualities and bring out the best in you. I guarantee that.

           Have no regrets, because regret is only a state of mind. It’s not like you can ever rewind time to change things or take them back, unless there’s a time machine (tbh that would be really cool but not the point). Otherwise, learn from it and carry on. Go forward since the past cannot be altered, rewritten or manipulated. Make peace with it instead. Moreover, be in the present and be content with what brings you the most joy. Stop getting caught up with the chaos and overanalyzing the details. Take pleasure in embracing where you are right now and don’t worry about the rest. You’ll then feel the tranquility. Who knows what your future self will want? It’s alright to not have everything figured out and/or not know exactly everything, no matter how old you are. If we did, then life would seem far too easy. It would suddenly seem boring as if we don’t have something to work for or achieve then what? We’d feel empty and unfulfilled, losing our drive. Where’s the challenge? We’re never going to stop having the capacity to dig deeper, improve, learn and evolve, which makes it all the more empowering. It’s a lifelong journey. It’s essential.

FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT 

            Be relentless to get what you want as long as it comes from a pure place. You must keep working and pushing to be effective and get optimal results. You’ve worked so hard to get here, don’t you even think about quitting either. You get what you work for. Pour your heart and soul into it while you’re at it. Let this fuel your fire and go all in. Time waits for no one and therefore has no patience for excuses. Putting tasks off for later or another time will never make them happen. You’re not going to throw in the towel just yet. Where’s your fiery passion? Remember your why, and no matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and show up. You’ll thank yourself later. It’s like exercising. You may not feel like working out at first, or may feel like giving up while doing so, but once you finish, you’ll feel like an ultimate champion or a fierce warrior. Feel free to bask in the glory. Enjoy the process and appreciate what you do. No matter how long or what it takes, be patient and persistent. Soon, the universe will recognize this and reward you by turning your dreams into reality.

          Try to win your days with little successes, because victory is yours. Roll with the punches. What are you fighting for today? Fight through it. Elevate by stepping up your game. Soar high. Try to end things on a higher note than let it be the bitter end. Keep your hopes and positivity aligned with your true values. You have nothing to lose, since you’ll always take something with you from the experience. Yes, there’ll be good and bad moments, but still follow your dreams. You may stumble, get knocked down and receive some bruises or scars, but you need to pick yourself up like you would from learning how to ride a bike. You can’t give up that easily. Never back down. Dust yourself off and bounce right back. Stand your ground.

DARK AND MESSY TIMES ARE WORTH IT

           I know you’re tired or exhausted, even restless but don’t get too burnt out. I fully understand that you may be going through a lot. Breathe and recognize the quality of your breathing. Remain still once in awhile between moving around, from being mainly on the grind, hustling and bustling. Be more level-headed, centered, unwind and offer yourself some space. Disengage for a bit from the nonstop action, before reconnecting with yourself. You can do anything but can’t do everything; in other words, don’t bite off more than you can chew. Life can be quite messy or dark at times, but it can be such a blessing in disguise and teach valuable lessons. They’ll lead you to where you’re meant to go; admire the scenic routes and surprises along the way, rather than the same endless spine of a road. It’ll feel much more rewarding. That’s what makes everything more thrilling! Plus they make for great stories to tell and provide fresh, expanding insights. You’ll have access to a wider lens, exposure and a fuller spectrum of your worldview. Be grateful. Build a positive outlook and grasp it.

           Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices or get lost in the dark to find yourself. Sometimes, you have to be the light. I strongly believe this opens a new chapter or a new beginning, a chance to seek rebirth, renewal, reinvention and restoration; there’s beauty in the darkness and madness. Imagine this as becoming newer versions of yourself. Things have a funny way of working out, as someone once told me. They take time and will eventually fall into place. Know that you don’t have to do everything on your own. Never hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. We all have our problems and it’s ok to have them. We got your back. That’s why we’re here for you on Mogul and leaning in. This is a judgement-free zone.

          I sincerely hope you recover from the pain during rough times though. The pain won’t last forever, as it’s only temporary. Your feelings and struggles are valid. Use any coping mechanisms that work for you and be solution-oriented. Everything will be okay, maybe not at first yet it will pass and you will heal. Then it won’t hurt as much and will disappear. Just imagine the rainbow and sunshine after surviving the storm or grey clouds passing by. Stay afloat. If you made it through the other times, then I assure you that you’ll get through current and future ones. When something difficult comes your way next, it’ll feel like nothing because you’re going to crush it! It’s not the end of the world, although it may seem like it. However, think of it as a way to help you grow, without remaining stagnant. You can let it hurt you or change you. Which will you pick? Not all hope is gone.

FOCUS ON YOU

          Forget about your worries and get in tune with what you can do everyday, by cultivating in yourself and your life. Prioritize and concentrate on what’s really important. The key is self-advocacy and personal growth. Never lose sight of what you believe in and most importantly, believe in yourself. Don’t consume others’ lives by investing in them aka falling into the comparison trap. No, don’t do it. Don’t you let it infiltrate your mind. Why should this affect you in any way? You’re taking things at face value, by seeing glimpses of what people are willing to show almost like an illusion. I mean, the movie industry for example, may seem picture-perfect, but so much goes on behind-the-scenes. It’s not always glamorous. Not everything is as it seems. There’s no one else like you and you have no reason to be like them. It’s not your job to track what others do. Stay out of it and stay in your lane. As Amy Poehler in Yes Please said, “Good for her (or him/them)! Not for me.” You’re your own competition. There’s no need to feel self-conscious. If it makes you feel any better, it’s likely that people may be too concerned with themselves than be busy evaluating your every move. Live a life you’re meant for and deserve, not a mediocre one just to settle down for less and feel comfortable. Promise to commit, because you have the ability to change not only your day, but also your life!

THEREFORE AS A REMINDER 

        Your age is irrelevant, because behind that number and that gorgeous face is a fascinating and meaningful life story, that you’ve experienced and were lucky (and still are) to live through. You probably heard this before but I’ll say it again. You’re never too young or too old! Don’t let that stop you. It’s not worth giving into age pressure. Refuse to let this make you feel restricted or limited in any way, shape or form. Age does not measure you, define you or your beautyit never did anyway. You’re an unstoppable force who is in charge of your life and can absolutely take on ANYTHING. I want you to keep going, to re-energize if necessary. Don’t hold back! Silence your fear, because you only got room for bravery. Fear is not an option. Continuously push towards your goals and also take excellent care of your health, wellness and skincare. You can adapt and you can prevail. Stay healthy and strong too.  

        Whoever says you can’t do something is lying. Don’t listen to them. They have no idea what you’re capable of. Maybe they’re secretly jealous from insecurity issues, because they might be afraid that you’ll be more successful than them. Sadly, this is true in some cases where certain people want you to do well, yet not necessarily do better than them. If they really were there for you, they’d be happy, accepting and celebrate. Not everyone will have the same heart or mind as you do.

        Don’t even let someone make you question your worth in doubt, because your worth will always come from within, not from others. You won’t tolerate those who intentionally harbour and disturb your foundation of inner peace, security and happiness. These are the ones who don’t deserve your time, energy and focus. They’re not worthy of you. You have no time for negative people or thoughts creeping in; you can acknowledge them to be well aware but then push it all away, because you don’t need that. Don’t take crap from anyone. It’s nonsense and just background noise. Don’t be distracted. It’s unimportant, so what difference should it make? In the end, it doesn’t really matter. You know what you want. You know who you are and who you’re meant to be, so don’t get mixed up with what they say about you. Shut them out and conquer your mind. You’re much stronger both internally and externally than that.

        You have so much power within, you just got to find it or sense it. It’s in your gut, heart, your will and inner strength. There’s magic in each and one of us. Let your passion, talent and inner voice guide you. Envision yourself creating and succeeding. Think of positive and kind thoughts, which will send high vibrations out there in the open and will return to bless you; sort of like when you love life, life will love you right back. It’s the law of attraction. Never shy away from speaking your mind and asking questions either. Remember to keep your spirits high and energy going. Together, they will generate the wheel that will help put you in motion. I wish you all nothing but the best and so much love with good vibes.

www.accidentalicon.com


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