I’m sure you’ve experienced your fair share of awkward or uncomfortable first dates, and you’ve probably started to realize what you should and should not wear, say and do on a first date in order to make the best first impression. Wearing a provocative outfit, for example, can certainly give him the wrong impression, and talking about your ex is even worse. There are some pretty major first date mistakes you need to avoid if you want to stand out in a good way. Here are 6 things you should never do on a first date if you want a second date:
1. Acting nonchalant or ambiguous
One of the most attractive qualities is authenticity and openness. If you lay it all out on the line on a first date, and if you’re direct and honest, you’ll stand out in a really great way. It’s a mistake to think that being ambiguous, confusing or mysterious is attractive. It’s a mistake to think that acting like you don’t care is attractive.
2.Wearing an overly provocative outfit
Sure,I get it. You want to look sexy on a date. You want to feel desirable and you want him to be attracted to you. But, there’s a line and if you cross it, you’ll give him the wrong impression and he might decide you’re not so classy after all. If you’re going to wear a short skirt, don’t also wear a low-cut top. If you’re going to wear a low-cut top, don’t get too deep on that v-neck. Draw the line somewhere so that you show a bit of cleavage without literally popping out of your top. Plus, don’t you want him to actually engage in conversation with you during your date, without being totally distracted? Button up, girl. Trust me when I say that your lips are just as sexy as your breasts, and lip-liner is a much safer first date beauty hack than a low-cut shirt.
3. Talking about your ex
You will automatically lose 10,000 points if you even bring up your ex once during a first date. Anyone who is worth your time won’t want to waste their time dating someone who might not be over an ex. You’re definitely not putting your best foot forward by mentioning yours.
4. Failing to ask any deep questions
This is a big one. Don’t just ask your date about their dog or what they like to do for fun. This just proves that you’re not capable of real, deep or engaging conversation. If you really want to stand out and impress your date, ask some real and genuine questions. Ask about their goals, dreams, fears, passions and proudest achievements. Ask what their current passion project is. Showing a genuine interest in your date will go a long away, and people tend to light up when they're discussing what’s most important in their life such as their goals and their passions.
5. Wearing shoes you can’t walk in or a restricting outfit
How do you think you’ll come across if your date wants to go for a walk to chat some more after dinner, and you complain about it? You'll come across as high maintenance if you’re wearing the wrong shoes and complaining about it. Similarly, you’ll come across as high maintenance if you complain about the rain ruining your swede skirt or some other form out outfit emergency. Don’t embarrass yourself by wearing the shoes you can’t walk in or the skirt you can’t get wet.
6. Getting too drunk out of nervousness
It’s never fun if the person you’re on a date with gets wasted and is impossible to talk to because of their inebriation. It's understandable to use booze as a crutch on a date since it loosens us up and reduces those nervous tendencies. However, getting drunk on a date isn’t making you look attractive, and you’ll likely end up saying or doing something you regret. If instead you make it clear that you don’t need to get drunk in order to enjoy yourself, you’ll stand out in a really great and classy way. There are a ton of benefits of sobriety, and staying classy on a date is one of them.
7. Being insecure
Confidence is everything on a first date. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you, and don’t act insecure on a date. Accept compliments,smile and talk about the achievements you’re proud of. If you exude confidence, it’ll be obvious why you’re such a catch.
Erica Gordon is a relationship expert and the author of the new dating advice book, 'Aren't You Glad You Read This?'
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