It is difficult enough these days just to get past the 1st date but how do you keep a man wanting a lasting relationship with you?
Why do some women seem to have great experiences with men while others are constantly back out in the dating pool once again?
Learn from your past experiences and take these messages to heart:
- What didn’t work?
- What would you do differently next time?
- Did you ignore your gut and not listen to those red flags that were waving away in front of you?
It is very important that you “own” the truth as to why something didn’t work out for you; and that goes for all aspects of your life. Being honest with your self is the biggest stepping stone to real happiness and longevity in a partnership.
If you seem to be stuck and in a repetitive pattern with men that never seem to work out, try these 5 steps below to help keep your next partnership in a strong place.
5 Important Things to Keep Your Man Coming Back for More of YOU:
1. Allow your man to be a man.
The cavemen days might be over but men still want to bring home the buffalo “so to speak.” They have testosterone for a reason and need to be able to be a strong guy in a relationship.
It is a good thing to be independent ladies but do not push away or squash your man’s masculinity because you are always trying to prove a feminist point. Men still need to be wanted!
Ask them to do things to help you. We tend to do a lot of things ourselves and then get mad at them for not helping us. (I don’t think we understand that we can be a martyr at times.)
Do chores together or ask him to teach you how to fix something. Show interest in his accomplishments inside and outside the house. (I don’t know about you ladies but I kind of like seeing a man in his tool belt.)
2. Validate & Appreciate Him!
When your guy does something for you that is kind or thoughtful, thank him and tell him how special that made you feel. Even if it is something small like making your coffee every morning or when he runs out to the grocery store because you need something last minute; let him know how much it means to you.
Taking his sweet ways for granted is deflating for him. (You know how you feel when he ignores something you did for him.)
We all need validating as it makes us feel heard in our partnership. It is a positive reinforcement that encourages us to do more for each other especially when it is reciprocated!
Listen to what he says and always participate in the conversation. Don't tune him out even if the subject doesn't really interest you.
3. Take Pride in your Appearance.
Men are very visual creatures which can really piss women off sometimes!
“Why is he looking at other women?”
Why not make him attracted to you instead of someone else? He was interested in you when he met you so wouldn’t it be a good thing to keep up that appearance like the first time when you caught his eye?
Don’t become lazy and use the excuse that he should love you no matter what. Yes, we all get wrinkles over the years and put on a few extra pounds here and there, but it doesn’t mean you can’t maintain some sexiness with a little effort.
He doesn’t need you to be a size 6; he just needs to know that you care and are still excited about him too! Confidence is a huge turn on and a little lingerie or a new hairstyle goes a long way too!
4. Sex is Hugely Important!
There is nothing as exciting as passionate sex in the early stages of meeting a new partner. Wowzer!! Unfortunately, those fires don’t always stay lit and over the years there can be nothing but ashes left as a memory of those head banging days of multiple orgasmic lust.
NEVER let your sex-life be the last priority regardless of how busy your life is!
I cannot stress this enough as it is one of the biggest reasons relationships dissolve! If you have to set up a sex date night as a reminder; do it! Send him some naughty texts over the day or meet him at the front door after work in something sexy that you know he loves.
Be creative! It is OK to get a little out of your comfort zone once in a while. I promise you won’t be sorry you did. ;
I know a lot of women do not like performing oral sex but you really should try to get over that. There is a reason men made Steak & BJ day March 14th on their calendar! Go ahead and Google it!
Ladies; they really don’t care all that much if you can cook trust me!
5. Be Fun and Interesting to be with!
Being a little adventurous and playful will keep your man interested as he will look forward to coming home and seeing you every day. If you become predictable, stuck in a monotonous routine, or not willing to try new things, your relationship may eventually fizzle due to a boring state of complacency.
Go watch his baseball or hockey games and ask him to participate in something you enjoy as well. You’ve heard the expression: “People who play together stay together.” This is a true statement!
Doing everything separate in your partnership is not a great idea as it eventually pulls you in opposite directions; romantically speaking as well! Having a few different interests is important in keeping your individuality but having nothing in common is a recipe for disaster.
A reciprocated effort between a couple is what makes a relationship last throughout the years. When one person “checks out” it is may be only a matter of time until the partnership is over for good.
Men are really pretty simple and quite easy to please for the most part. Women are a little more complicated but that’s not really our fault as we come with a lot of extra hormones that men don’t have to deal with!
Stay true to who you without losing yourself in the relationship. A woman who has a full life is a great catch because when she is ready for a relationship she wants a man in her life; she doesn’t need one.
This is an attractive quality for most men as it gives them the freedom to be true to them self too. He doesn’t have to worry about you every minute and enjoys spending time with you because you have many interesting things to add to the partnership.
When you live a diverse life you have lots to talk about! There is seldom a dull moment which contributes to fulfilling conversations and great communication; which also allows the relationship to keep growing upwards in a positive direction.
It's not as difficult as it may seem to keep the fires burning for years to come but both people have to do their part in rekindling the flames. It's not a one-person effort which is why it's called a partnership.
By implementing the 5 steps listed above, you will have a better chance of keeping your love flourishing.
The little things matter...
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show
Susan McCord known as "Dear Sybersue" around the Web, helps millennials and gen-exers find love and inspiration. As a mature woman, she has "been there done that" and has so many T-shirts she can open a store! Susan believes that we are all special and deserving of happiness. People get lost along [...]