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    Hi Savannah, having the courage to let go of someone bad for you is the first step. A painful one when your heart loves them, but a necessary one if you know he's not good for you. Letting go of someone is a process and it takes time, sometimes therapy, support from loved ones, and being gentle with yourself. You are not trapped! You are amazing and a strong woman. Remember that it's better to be single and standing strong as a woman than to be with a poisonous person in your life. If you feel in danger with this person, and I'm not implying you are but just in case, please contact someone to get help. You are wonderful. Remember that!

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    Counseling is great, at anytime. Especially since things are "an ongoing battle", that sounds difficult. Since you are dating, not married? Maybe put a time limit goal to determine if this relationship meets your needs and that you both have compatible goals. Everyone deserves to have their needs met and be loved in a mutually beneficial committed relationship. Is there a baby on the way? That could contribute to the tiredness and more pressure on a dating relationship. Congrats on considering couples counseling. Go for it. Best of luck and love!

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    Could you have your child adopted by your parents?

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    Believe or not, this had happended to me too, the idea of crashing hard, and I guessed it should have happened to a lot and a lot of people in life as well. No one is completely spared by stress! The most important is learn how to deal with it.

    While I do not pretend to know everything but, from learning from others, here is what I did or told myself. Just close your eyes and wonder "whatever worries or hurts you or your ppride or feelings, would it matter ten years from now?", "what if you would lose everything but still alive and healthy?" and last but not least is to try to live in the moment, meaning that you will still think of or planning on the future but only live in the present tense, meaning right now and right there wherever you are.

    Try it and tell us what you think. These three things had helped keep me from going insane when I had to take care of children and dealt with a lot of other iissues and worries in my life and I have to report that many years later, I am still alive and healthy. All ofthis is only because of love my husband gave me and because somewhere donw the road I had learned to ask me or remind me of those three things above.

    Good luck to you and remember you are not alone! -:)

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    Welcome back, Savannah!

  • I Can't Change it But I Still Wonder
    Story Love & Relationships
    Clock almost 3 years

    I Can't Change it But I Still Wonder

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    I think like all things there are both pros and cons. I'll start by saying that I am in a mixed generation where I grew up doing things manually and having a land-line instead of a cell phone. I actually didn't get a cell phone until I was 18. However, I am living through the most technology advances ever and I have no idea how they keep coming up with more and more stuff lol. If I were to go through all the pros and cons, well, let's just say that neither of us would ever get ANYWHERE. I am happy and blessed to use technology it really has changed my life. I am a type 1 diabetic and bc of technology advances I can work with my doctor to get the best medical treatment available to me and hopefully live a longer and fuller life. 25 years ago I don't know if I could say that. Getting a hold of someone and communicating through technology is something I also take advantage of. Yes, I do appreciate a hand written letter from a lover or a hand written card with money from grandma and grandpa however, let's put it this way; without technology I wouldn't be sitting here on the computer picking peoples brains. lol Ig for my final statement I'll say this, technology is only as good or bad as YOU choose to make it. If you want to be a cyber bully on Facebook, well I'd say technology is pretty bad. But if you want to call your mom and tell her "the great news" you just got then I'd say it's pretty good and resourceful. Your thoughts?

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    Wow, Savannah, thank you so much for letting me know this inspiring revelation you had with regards to your boyfriend. You are right that there are two sides to any story, and that every one has internal struggles and a story behind why they act the way they act. I have to admit that I felt I was doing everything in our relationship -- and I did not think of what factors might be contributing to him letting me initiate everything as of late. After giving him some distance (without telling him explicitly so), I took the time to really think about what might be going on behind the scenes with him. Finally, I asked him when he started reaching out again, wondering where I had gone. It turns out that his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. :( And the news had hit him really hard with shock. That was why he was not being so proactive with me -- because his mind was so preoccupied with family matters. The space I gave him was exactly what he had needed to focus on this important matter at hand with his mother.

    So I wanted to thank you so much, Savannah, for your kind advice. Without you, I might have not thought to just directly ask him for transparency on what might be occupying his mind, what was keeping him up at night. It was the best thing I could have done for us to remain close. Thank you again Savannah.

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    Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and reply to my post. I have decided to take the job and I start this Thursday! Jake and I got in a huge argument and he hasn't even called me in 2 days.It's hard but reading your thoughts have helped me realize that I have some support behind me and people who understand my situation. I am only 19 and I feel this job can open so many doors in my future and I'll be doing what I love. I only hope that Jacob takes these last few days that I am here in the same town to shower me with HIS love and support. I'll keep you posted!

    yesheart

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