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Sexuality101:TheTeachingsOfMissyElliott

canwetalkqa
canwetalkqa Can We Talk: Sexual Health
1y Story
Sexuality 101: The Teachings Of Missy Elliott

An Ode To Professor Missy Elliott, Ph.D., Sexuality and Then Some


Missy, you taught us......

........ that it's okay to get our freak on,

not to settle for a one minute man,

It's okay for a woman to talk about and want sex.....

that it's okay for a woman to lose control, especially when it's warranted (WHICH IS ALL THE TIME)

and most importantly, no matter your size, skin color, or who you are.

you must embrace your true authentic self

_________________________________________________________________

"Ain't no shame ladies do yo thang" -Work It, 2002

Was there anyone you admired in middle or high school? If you ask my friends and me, we'd say........Maya Angelou, Queen Latifah, Marie Curie, Erykah, and probably Remy Ma and Lil Kim. Yes, to us, those women embodied strength, power, and embraced their authentic selves. But, the one who taught us OWN our sexuality, to do us, and look good doing it would be, Queen Missy Elliott.

Sexuality or embracing one's sexuality is something we rarely talk about but when we do, women like, Madonna, Lil Kim, Deepika Padukone (I find any excuse to add her to a list) or Beyonce come to mind. For me at least, Missy Elliott has a Ph.D. in OWNING who you are and embracing what you are. From her music, style, and more importantly, the way she carried herself screamed, I know who I am, and I'm worth it. As a West African child of immigrants embracing my sexuality and embracing who I want to be as woman (especially in the States) has never been something that came easy for me. But having Missy, I mean, Professor Missy Elliott as my Professor in life and sexuality helped me build the confidence I needed to literally do me.

*prepares lessons and evidence to back up claim*


Lesson 1: Never Settle For Less

Don’t settle for "good enough" you know who you are, what you want, and if you want a hot boy or girl don't let anybody tell you different.



Lesson 2. Ladies, We Run This


Embrace everything about yourself, and “It doesn’t matter where you're from it’s where you're at” meaning if you like how you look, how you feel, that is all that matters.


Lesson 3. “Get your freak on”


No explanation, it has a hot hook, the lyrics are self-explanatory, and the video is one of the best Missy Masterpieces ever!


Lesson 4. Follow your own standard of beauty “ I got a cute face, chubby waist”


Missy redefined her standard of beauty and continues to break the standard of what a woman should look like, act like, be, and want.

And we'll end with the most important lesson of all,


Lesson 5. You're In Control, Own It " It's my window and I can't stand the rain...." "BEEP BEEP who got the keys to da Jeep?"


These two classic song lyrics to me, Missy is saying, you're in control.

The last lesson/song sums up this whole class, it embodies everything Missy is, a woman who is in control and knows what she wants. She won't let anyone put her down or define who she is.


Don't let anyone put you down or define who you are, you own who you are- FLAUNT IT!

________________________________________________________________________

This piece is part of our September series, A Collective Effort, lessons TV, Film, and Literature teach us about sex, and how each one plays a part on how we view sex (sex-related taboos) and sometimes reflect society's view of sex.

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3 comments

  • Courtney Dercqu
    Courtney Dercqu Influencer
    12mo ago

    So....now I have "Is it worth it, let me work it I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it" severely stuck in my head. Ah, this brings me back to the sixth grade and me and my best friend walking home from school singing this song on repeat #majorthrowback (I'm pretty sure I'm just going to start blasting this song now and that'll be how I wake my fiance up!) Missy Elliot was always that artist who was true to herself and she didn't care at all what anyone thought of her. That is the sign of true empowerment and self-love. Young girls today probably don't know who Missy is (#shame) but what artist today do you think inspires young girls to be themselves the way Missy did for you? Teenagers today are becoming sexualized younger and younger and often times, are told their actions are "distractions" for the opposite sex. Words like that hinder proper sexual growth. What do you think celebrities, or role models that teens look up to should do differently to empower their sexuality instead of selling it?

    So....now I have "Is it worth it, let me work it I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it" severely stuck in my head. Ah, this brings me back to the sixth grade and me and my best friend walking home from school singing this song on repeat #majorthrowback (I'm pretty sure I'm just going to start blasting this song now and that'll be how I wake my fiance up!) Missy Elliot was always that artist who was true to herself and she didn't care at all what anyone thought of her. That is the sign of true empowerment and self-love. Young girls today probably don't know who Missy is (#shame) but what artist today do you think inspires young girls to be themselves the way Missy did for you? Teenagers today are becoming sexualized younger and younger and often times, are told their actions are "distractions" for the opposite sex. Words like that hinder proper sexual growth. What do you think celebrities, or role models that teens look up to should do differently to empower their sexuality instead of selling it?

    • canwetalkqa
      [deleted]
      11mo ago

      [deleted]

      [deleted]

    • canwetalkqa
      canwetalkqa Can We Talk: Sexual Health
      11mo ago

      We've had "We Run This" stuck in our heads this weekend! I agree, teenagers today are becoming sexualized (seen a lot of Lolita concepts everywhere-I remember that in the 90's (baby doll concept)but I feel like advertisers and even musicians are pushing it more and more) but like you said, our actions are seen as a distraction for the opposite sex and we end up with this warped sense of self and let's add shaming/blaming i.e rape culture, toxic masculinity to the mix and it becomes a mess. I agree, it hinders sexual growth for both men and women. For the celebrity/role model question- I'll use Demi Lovato as an example, I think she's done a great job of owning who she is as well as, sharing her struggles with the rest of the world, saying "this is who I am, yes, I've been through this and that but it won't stop me from growing and becoming the fiercely independent woman I am." For me personally, what I loved and admire about all my role models was that they weren't afraid to be who they were/are even when society disagreed with them, everyone one of them had their own struggle but they embraced it, used it to their advantage, and encouraged other's to the same- building confidence (basically, this is US, take it or leave it). I hope that answers the question.

      We've had "We Run This" stuck in our heads this weekend! I agree, teenagers today are becoming sexualized (seen a lot of Lolita concepts everywhere-I remember that in the 90's (baby doll concept)but I feel like advertisers and even musicians are pushing it more and more) but like you said, our actions are seen as a distraction for the opposite sex and we end up with this warped sense of self and let's add shaming/blaming i.e rape culture, toxic masculinity to the mix and it becomes a mess. I agree, it hinders sexual growth for both men and women. For the celebrity/role model question- I'll use Demi Lovato as an example, I think she's done a great job of owning who she is as well as, sharing her struggles with the rest of the world, saying "this is who I am, yes, I've been through this and that but it won't stop me from growing and becoming the fiercely independent woman I am." For me personally, what I loved and admire about all my role models was that they weren't afraid to be who they were/are even when society disagreed with them, everyone one of them had their own struggle but they embraced it, used it to their advantage, and encouraged other's to the same- building confidence (basically, this is US, take it or leave it). I hope that answers the question.


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