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You'llNeverBelieveHowthisWomanDefinesWhatitTakestobea"RealWoman"

elenacleaves
3y Kansas University, Jayhawk Boulevard, Lawrence, KS, United States Story
You'll Never Believe How this Woman Defines What it Takes to be a "Real Woman"

In today's worst news ever, a transphobic, woman-shaming Facebook post by one Emilee Danielson went viral on Twitter. The post is a letter to Caitlyn Jenner (who Emilee refers to as Mr. Jenner), explaining that Caitlyn is not a real woman because “there is more to being a woman than makeup and pretty hair.”

Other defining factors of being a woman, according to Emilee, include to:

 “wake up every 28 days with searing stomach pain so bad it doubles you over”

“know what it is like to have your car break down on the side of the road and when a couple men stop to help your prayer is that their intentions are good…”

And “know what it’s like to get pregnant”.




The post is transphobic in its shaming of Caitlyn Jenner, but also shames cis women as well. Not all cis women can get pregnant, have babies, or get periods. Not all trans and queer women dress femininely and therefore not all of them worry about men objectifying or harassing them.

In the most ironic thing to happen to the internet since Taylor Swift had Left Shark on stage during Bad Blood, famous twitter account @TweetLikeAGirl reposted screenshots of Emilee’s hateful status, along with the words, “I’m sorry but this is so good”.

Saying horrible transphobic, women-shaming things is “tweeting like a girl”?

Wrong. Girls across the web exploded, bashing both the writer for her definition of being a woman as well as letting the account owner (who has previously praised Caitlyn Jenner) know that they have been unfollowed.

The tweet has since been deleted by Tweet Like a Girl, but the photos and horrible caption are still circling the Twittersphere. Emilee's Facebook has been shut down several times due to being reported by rightfully angry men and women.

While the issue of trans women being denied as “real” women is a much more serious issue, it joins a large number of microaggressions in girl-on-girl crime that pit us against each other. Instead of lifting each other up for our differences, we set rules for what constitutes as being a woman and what doesn’t. If you identify as a woman, and you exist, congratulations! You are a REAL woman.

REAL WOMEN aren’t defined by….

Their sexual and reproductive organs.

If you are not someone’s doctor attempting to conduct a necessary medical procedure, you have no business asking, worrying, or talking about the existence or functions of someone’s sexual and reproductive organs. Women are not defined by what they have or don’t have under their Victoria’s Secret 5 for $25 panties. They also aren’t defined by their ability or inability to have children, or even a period.

Their beauty routines.

Braving the world with a bare face does not make you less of a woman because you have not altered your appearance to match society’s beauty standards. However, you aren’t less of a woman for taking 3 hours to contour your face either. What you choose to do or not do with your face when it comes to beauty does not define your womanhood. What matters is that YOU feel beautiful to your own standards.

Their weekend activities.

There is nothing wrong with being a party animal. Well, there isn’t as long as you aren’t drinking away your liver or being taken advantage of. But if you are having fun, and you are unharmed in the process, do not let anyone tell you how “unattractive” girls who party are. You are not of less value because you like to have a good time.

Similarly, women who would rather stay at home with a pizza and Netflix are just as cool. You don’t have to be a party girl to be fun. And your weekend preferences don’t and shouldn’t define your value to others.

Their choice of drink.

I hate beer. I absolutely cannot stomach it. It’s way too filling and it makes me bloated before it gets me drunk. I would much rather down a liter and a half of moscato before heading out to a club.

That being said, I love girls who drink beer like it’s water. Those girls are my first pick of partners for beer pong and my favorite to tailgate with. Drinking wine or cocktails doesn’t mean you’re not “chill” and drinking beer or whiskey doesn’t make you a “dude”.

Their sexual preferences.

To quote Queen of Everything Tina Fey: “We have GOT to stop calling each other sluts and whores!” Girls love sex just as much as boys. It’s just a fact. We love having it as often as we please. We also love not having it when we don’t want it. And we really, really DON’T love being shamed for how active or inactive our sex lives are.

If you love to have sex with multiple partners, (be safe and consensual) and go Samantha Jones the shit out of your sex life. That does not make you a slut. In fact, “slut” should not even be a word. Go ahead and remove it from your vocabulary now. And if you hate sex, and you really just are never feeling it, don’t have it! Paint topless on your wraparound porch instead. That does not make you a prude.

“Slut”, “whore”, “prude”, etc. are just words designed to police women for their sexual habits. But your sex life is no one’s business (besides the partner or partners you are happily, safely, and consensually having sex with).

Their body type.

Many beautiful body movements have come into the world in the past decade celebrating all sizes and shapes of bodies. However, in the process of lifting up bigger bodies, we have started shaming smaller ones. “Real women have curves” and “only dogs like bones” are ACTUAL phrases people have used. What the hell is that about? Women have bodies. Women come in all different sizes and shapes and heights and weights and they are all beautiful. Women can be thin without being anorexic and they can be fat without being unhealthy.

We don’t need to shame one size to feel better about our own. Instead, we should just all put on hella cute pj’s and have an epic pillow fight to a montage set to Anaconda. Yeah? Yeah.


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  • Steff Ransom
    Steff Ransom An Envelope of Nifty Things
    3y ago

    Excellent article, and appropriately angry. Why people feel the need to judge, belittle and shame other people for the choices that affect no one but themselves, I'll never know. We need to keep the progress for equality alive and passionate, thank you for this article.

    Excellent article, and appropriately angry. Why people feel the need to judge, belittle and shame other people for the choices that affect no one but themselves, I'll never know. We need to keep the progress for equality alive and passionate, thank you for this article.


A Carrie Bradshaw located in the heart of Kansas, Elena is a passionate writer with big city dreams. She plans to move to NYC after graduating from the University of Kansas with an English/Creative Writing degree. She is a feminist, a poet, a pig mom, an avid Long Island Iced Tea drinker, and a [...]

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