February 2019. Yup. The longest drag for a month with only 28 days. For me, each one of those days felt like a never ending nightmare.
I am glad it is over now. So very glad. As I try to breath again, I cannot help, but, notice the impact of just a month of grief.
It started off slow. Barely there. A little cockroach running around. And then, I saw the shadow of a rat. Before long, I would tuck myself in bed scared of the boogeyman.
It started with a shock. Turned into disappointment. And then I was facing grief. What felt like never ending grief.
From frown to sadness and then to tears. My days had me smiling the brightest as my nights soaked the pillows in tears. There was a secret hidden in a veil.
No one noticed. How could they? I know my expressions well. Voice modulation lessons always help.
One day, in that darkness, where I often found myself, I realized I wasn’t alone. It felt uncomfortable at first to share this space. It was more uncomfortable knowing I was in this space.
I found my friend there too. Like a rabbit hole, it has sucked her in too. We found hope there for some strange reason. Of all places, there, in that dark corner. We had hope.
I am still not completely out. Neither is she. It is a struggle we admit. But, we will get through this. Till we do, we will seek comfort in each other’s embrace. Hope all the way…
(Originally Published on The Zainab Experiment: https://bit.ly/2EpnF79)