Late at night, I am lying down on my bed, looking at the clock and calculating the number hours I would get to sleep for if I fell asleep this instant. It has been my routines for quite some time lately. At times, I wonder why do I even try to wrap things up early. Why do I rush to have a bath and then run around and finish things, when I know at the end of it, I will just be wasting time on my cell phone. It is a hopeless cycle I find myself in every night at 11 pm.
My eyes are tired. But then, why don’t I just quit this habit. The thing is, I only catch myself wasting time right at the end, when I am done exhausting the usuable minutes for the day. It is laughable in a way that makes me cry. It takes 21 days to form a habit. But, I am pretty sure this one has been up for months now. Huh…
If I am honest, I think even my attempts at getting to bed early are half-hearted. Just like the half-hearted, half-baked perfect cakes on Instagram. But, HEY! At least they look good.
So, I guess putting my thoughts in words should count as being productive. A lie of sorts that I choose to tell myself tonight as I am back counting hours till it is time to wake-up.
(Originally Published on The Zainab Experiment: https://bit.ly/315hDlO)