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Mother's/Father'sDays:3KeystoStopBlamingYourParents

Dr. Bradley Nelson
Dr. Bradley Nelson Holistic Physician
6mo St. George, Utah, United States Story
Mother's/Father's Days: 3 Keys to Stop Blaming Your Parents

Healing Relationships and Preventing Drama for Grownup Kids


As grownups we often have a hard time letting go of painful emotions associated with our parents due to the vulnerability we felt when we were kids.

Maybe your parents were well meaning but made the inevitable mistakes all parents make, leaving you with feelings such as guilt or anger. Or perhaps you carry invisible wounds from emotional or physical abuse, whether you were abused or witnessed abuse. Maybe your parents’ divorce left you feeling sad, wary and uncertain whether you will ever find lasting love.

You’ve probably heard it said that time heals all wounds, but this is not necessarily true. You may think you have let go of all your emotional pain from the past, and maybe you’ve had therapy to deal with it. It may seem like it’s all behind you now, only to have these emotions return, seemingly out of nowhere. If this describes you, it may be that your body is literally inhabited by the invisible energies of old emotions.

I call these unresolved negative feelings "trapped emotions." These are wounds that time alone cannot and will not heal. They can cause you to act and feel differently in your current relationships and may even cause you to sabotage them. They may even cause you to unwittingly sabotage your own success and happiness.

Many people fail to perform up to their ability and have difficulty making their life work as they should. Oftentimes the underlying cause of their frustration is a trapped emotion from a past event that they may not realize is sabotaging their efforts.

Julia was going to school to become a court recorder, and was excited about her future job prospects. Court recorders learn to type on a specialized phonetic machine, and have to type very rapidly and accurately to record everything said in the courtroom. Julia did fine in class, but whenever she had to take an examination where the pressure was really on, she would fail. She was very worried as she had failed the test three times, and was afraid her next examination would be her last chance to pass.

I tested her to see if there was a trapped emotion that might be influencing her behavior in the testing situation, and the answer her body gave was “Yes.” In her case, the trapped emotion was discouragement. When she was 15 years old she had gone through a difficult time when her parents were divorcing. She had experienced overwhelming discouragement, and that emotion had become trapped in her body. In the testing situation, with the pressure on, the trapped emotion of discouragement was sabotaging her performance. We released the trapped discouragement, and she sailed through her next test feeling relaxed and confident, and received a nearly perfect score.

Julia had no idea that her parents’ divorce and her old feelings about it could be affecting her negatively in the present. In the same way that the effects of the wind are felt rather than seen, trapped emotions are invisible, yet can exert a powerful influence upon you.

Trapped emotions can cause you to make the wrong assumptions, overreach to innocent remarks and misinterpret behavior, short-circuiting your relationships. Even worse, trapped emotions can lead to depression, anxiety and other forms of chronic illness. They can interfere with the proper function of your body’s organs and tissues, wreaking havoc on your physical health and triggering pain, fatigue and illness. Yet no matter how great your suffering may be, the invisible energy of trapped emotions will remain undiagnosed by conventional medicine – even though they may be a major causative factor in your physical and emotional struggles.

In more than 25 years working to help people release and heal trapped emotions, I have come to believe a significant percentage of physical illness, emotional difficulty and self-sabotage are caused by these unseen energies. And I’ve seen results that are nothing short of miraculous when people are finally able to let go of these unwanted emotions.

When a trapped emotion is released, a burden is literally lifted. In fact, people often experience a feeling of lightness upon the release of a trapped emotion. Finding and releasing those trapped negative energies can literally make changes in how you feel and behave, in the choices you make, and in the results that you get.

Here are three tips to help you be less reactive to your emotional baggage until you can release it using The Emotion Code:

1. Shield yourself when going into any potentially triggering situation: To do this, hold the intention of creating a shield around your body to protect you, one that will allow positive feelings in (such as love and gratitude) while filtering out negative energies sent toward you from others. As you hold this focused intention, glide your fingertips over your head a few times, relax and breathe. This will put some energy into your Governing Meridian. Picture the shield to act as a filter that covers and surrounds your body; one that will protect you from negative energies that might set off a negative reaction.

2. Speak your mind without creating drama: Do your part to make it a non-emotional situation. If you’re feeling stressed about family interaction, go outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air. Ask yourself if you’re overreacting. Recognize your own feelings and analyze what your mom or dad meant to say. Give them the benefit of the doubt – it’s likely no offense was meant. If you aren’t sure, ask for clarification, and then react appropriately, with kindness, with love and with forgiveness if you can. Some people really don’t have a handle on their behavior, but it doesn’t have to affect how you choose to feel or behave. It doesn’t have to be your problem.

3. Learn from your parents’ mistakes: Look at mistakes in a positive light. Mistakes teach us what NOT to do. With this in mind, you can approach your relationship with your parents with a sense of humility rather than blame. Remember, your parents are only human and they're not supposed to be more.

Even as you practice these steps, it is important for you to recognize and remove your own trapped emotions before they cause more damage. Do it for yourself as well as those you love. It may change your whole life. There are resources available to help you release your emotional baggage once and for all. Go to Emotioncodegift.com and download the free Emotion Code ebook. Read it to learn how to find and release your trapped emotions. If you need assistance, you can contact a Certified Emotion Code Practitioner and schedule a session to release your trapped emotions.

Getting rid of your trapped emotions can help you to overcome the obstacles of your past and can bring new life to your marriage, family and other personal relationships. Freeing yourself from your trapped emotions can make you feel more secure and motivated, and can liberate you to create the relationships, career and life that you’ve always wanted.

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4 comments

  • Diana Tomlin
    6mo ago

    Hi @Dr. Bradley Nelson I'm grateful to have come across this article. I have a friend who is severely affected by how he was raised, but he will never go to therapy to deal with it, and I fear he will end up turning out like his parents. He was neglected and abused as a child, and I believe both parents neglected wanting to have a real relationship with him even in his adulthood. Is there any hope for this man or is he a lost cause? 

    Hi @Dr. Bradley Nelson I'm grateful to have come across this article. I have a friend who is severely affected by how he was raised, but he will never go to therapy to deal with it, and I fear he will end up turning out like his parents. He was neglected and abused as a child, and I believe both parents neglected wanting to have a real relationship with him even in his adulthood. Is there any hope for this man or is he a lost cause? 

  • Ellen velvet
    6mo ago

    Great advice!!! I feel better having read it!

    Great advice!!! I feel better having read it!

  • Amanda Cooper
    6mo ago

    Dr @Dr. Bradley Nelson  where are you practicing? I love your article and wonder if you could give us some specific examples of situations where your approach has helped someone, even anonymously, improve themselves?

    Dr @Dr. Bradley Nelson  where are you practicing? I love your article and wonder if you could give us some specific examples of situations where your approach has helped someone, even anonymously, improve themselves?


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Dr. Bradley Nelson
Holistic Physician

Author and international lecturer in bio-energetic medicine and energy psychology, Dr. Brad has successfully used The Emotion Code with thousands of patients around the globe to relieve symptoms and often effect cures in conditions ranging from depression to cancer. His best-selling book, The [...]

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