There are a lot of people who are making major dating mistakes and then wondering why they dont ever see a second date. One of these mistakes is quite common for people with low self-confidence, and thats called giving out too much information.
Ever heard the expression ‘That was too much information!’? Well, in the dating world that expression applies big-time! Sharing too much information, especially on the first date, is a huge reason for not getting any more dates!
Diarrhea of the Mouth
Too much information happens when you feel like you have to tell it all. It’s when your mouth can’t stop spewing out words, thoughts, and emotions that don’t need to be shared – just yet.
You see it’s not that you don’t EVER have to share the things you want to say – it’s just that when someone is trying to form an opinion about you and decide whether they think you are someone they would like to get to know better, you should try to give them something to WANT to get to know better.
Once you get into a relationship with someone you can tell them anything you want to tell them! They will have already formed a solid belief about who you are and they will be able to handle the information that in the beginning would be too much information.
What is Too Much Information?
So what classifies as being too much information on a date? Basically too much information means information that they don’t want or need to hear about you. This includes:
Everyone has stories about awkward, upsetting, and uncomfortable moments in their life, but when you tell someone those stories who doesn’t really know you then they are not going to feel sorry for you or offer you a shoulder to lean on, they are going to be embarrassed for you and for themselves.
Embarrassing stories include anything that:
- Makes you look like an idiot
- Makes you look like a pushover
- Makes you look like you have low self-confidence
- Makes your date feel sorry for you
Information That Makes Your Date Uncomfortable
You do not want to make your date uncomfortable in any way. The point of a date is to find out whether or not you are comfortable with that person, and if you make them uncomfortable then they are not going to want to be put in that situation again. No one wants to feel uneasy around someone.
Making someone uncomfortable can be done by talking about how pathetic you feel about yourself or how sad your life has been. For instance telling someone that you have never had a steady girlfriend or boyfriend will show that you do not feel confident about your dating abilities and it will cause your date to feel uncomfortable because they will not want to hurt your feelings. They will also feel uncomfortable because they will feel like you are depending on them to make you feel good about yourself its a lot of pressure and its not somewhere anyone wants to be.
Talking About Your Faults and Failures
Everyone wants to date someone with confidence. Everyone! Nobody wants to hear that you think you have a million faults. If you don’t have confidence in yourself why should they?
Do not talk about:
- How you suck in bed
- How you don’t know how to cook
- How you always fail at everything you do
- How you don’t think you are good enough to achieve your dreams or goals
Do not talk about yourself in a negative light at all! The first date is supposed to be about showing off your strengths. Later in the relationship you can talk about your faults and your partner will be much more understanding, but if you do it first thing your date will not want to deal with itand won’t have to! They will just avoid you.
If you really feel like you are a loser and have a ton of faults then you are already dealing with a lot o negativity in yourself, and you should deal with that before you even attempt to date someone. Again, if you dont believe in yourself or love yourself then why should someone else? Find self confidence and you will find that more dates stick around.
Showing Off Your Ugly Side
You may think your waiter is incompetent but talking about how bad you think he is, is not going to win the heart of your date. Nobody wants to be around a complainer, whiner, bitchy-person, or just a negative person. If you share too much information about your negative side then you are going to scare off your date before the entree comes.
How to Tell If Youve Said Too Much
This is easy, but you have to be aware of what you are saying.
After you say something you will always get a reaction from your date. The reaction that you want from your date is a smile, laugh, or an enthusiastic response. Anything else means you have probably said too much (and thats including saying something offensive or stupid)
- Stop talking
- Give you a dirty look
- Start to hurry up the date
- Start looking at their watch
- All of a sudden want to end the date
How To Get The Date Back On Track After You Have Said Too Much
Chances of the date being healed after diarrhea of the mouth are slim. The best thing you can do is to stop saying too much and start asking questions about your date. You should also try to get the date on a positive note so that the rest of the time is focused on good things and will allow the date to end in a good way. This may increase your chances of your date going out with you again but its not a guarantee.
The best thing you can do is to catch yourself before you say too much, or catch yourself while you are saying too much. If your date doesnt work out after you have made this dating mistake then at least you know what you have done and you can avoid it in future dates!
About the Author:
Alex is a dating consultant and a blog contributor for free dating site called Loveawake. He writes his best ideas, advices and tips about relationships, online dating and marriage for blogs and sites
Senior editor and dating coach Alex Wise is a recognized expert on love, marriage and relationships (except when it comes to his own life, of course) who has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Huffington Post, Mashable, LifeHacker, Today.com and more. Join him at Loveawake.com dating service and [...]