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HowDoIGetMyPartnertoHaveMyBackinOurRelationship?

Dear Sybersue
Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist
6mo Vancouver, BC, Canada Story
How Do I Get My Partner to Have My Back in Our Relationship?

In today’s weekly video above Dear Sybersue discusses: How Do I Get My Partner to Have My Back in Our Relationship?

This is a popular question but why is this even an issue? Why doesn’t your partner defend you? Shouldn’t you always be there for each other when you are confronted or verbally/physically attacked by someone?

I don’t know about you but when someone berates or slanders a person I love, I am like mama bear protecting her cubs! I am all over that sh*t with bear claws a-blazin!

It is a natural reaction to stand up for someone you are in a committed partnership with…isn’t it?

Well maybe not if your partner is insecure or jealous of you. Or, maybe they don’t want to deal with any confrontation! “It will just go away if I don’t draw more attention to it, I'll just pretend I didn’t see or hear anything. They can handle it.” 

The best way to deal with this situation is to acknowledge your partner's non-actions at the time it happens.

Don’t let it build up so that it gets worse over time. You’re in a partnership for a reason, you shouldn't have to constantly handle everything on your own. It's not easy to always have to stand up for yourself and when someone has your back you feel validated and honored by their love.  

It is important to get to the bottom of why they aren’t there for you because eventually it could be the demise of your relationship! Do you want to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to support you, listen to your concerns and stand up for you when the need arises?

Once you have this discussion with them things should change for the better. They may have thought you could handle it yourself and that you would be offended if they interfered; but even strong independent women need to feel safe and know that their partner is there for them. 

Always respect each other in every way.

Please leave your comments below so we can help others deal with this scenario in their relationships. 

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube    Dear Sybersue Facebook



2 replies

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  • Maddy Bernstein
    6mo ago

    It seems like support, respect and communication are the keys to a successful relationship. Would you agree @Dear Sybersue?

    It seems like support, respect and communication are the keys to a successful relationship. Would you agree @Dear Sybersue?

    • Dear Sybersue
      Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist
      6mo ago Vancouver, BC, Canada

      Absolutely! But it has to be reciprocated. 

      Absolutely! But it has to be reciprocated. 


Dear Sybersue
Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist

Susan McCord known as "Dear Sybersue" around the Web, helps millennials and gen-exers find love and inspiration. As a mature women she has "been there done that" and has so many T-shirts she can open a store! Susan believes that we are all special and deserving of happiness. People get lost along [...]

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