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HowCanITrustMenAgainAfteraReallyBadBreakup?

Dear Sybersue
Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist
2mo Vancouver, BC, Canada Story
How Can I Trust Men Again After a Really Bad Breakup?

In today's video and post, I discuss Cindy's relationship question: How Can I Trust Men Again After a Really Bad Breakup?

Dear Sybersue,

How do I get over a past relationship and learn to trust myself again? How could I have been so wrong with choosing a partner that turned out to be such a bad relationship choice for me? 

How do I trust my own judgment again? This isn't the first time I have had to deal with this. I don't want to end up in another drama filled scenario, what can I do to change this? 

Thank you, Cindy 

Dear Cindy,

Ahhhh if we only had 100% clarity on all things in life...Unfortunately, this is not the case and sometimes we are left all alone trying to figure it out;  hopefully without repeating the same continual drama in our lives.

But guess what? You're not alone!

We ALL go through hurtful stuff but it is how we deal with it that will move us faster up the ladder to "getting where we need to be" in this world of ongoing lessons!

Cindy, you have the ultimate say on who you attract towards you and more importantly with who you allow into your life as a partner. Saying that; once you take responsibility with the part you played in this past relationship, you will begin to understand these questioning trust issues you have. 

You are probably thinking; "What's she talking about "my part" in this destructive relationship??? "I didn't play any games or act any weird way, I was just being myself!"  

  • Why did you choose him? 
  • Were there red flags early on?
  • What was the initial attraction?
  • Did youignore some of his behavioral issues?
  • What made you stay? 

I am sure you were just being yourself but there may have been something you weren't really paying close attention to. You might not trust yourself because you are burying a past hurt, or you have some long-standing emotional issues that you have ignored up until now.

If anything in your life becomes a repetitive drama or consists of any toxic behavior you must take the time to fix it!  

Many of us are afraid to open Pandora's box for fear of what we may find out about ourselves!  Is it really better not to know, or is it better to remove the haunting demons that control your judgment? I think you know the answer to that question.

You don't have to figure this out alone; in fact, I would strongly suggest that you don't.

It may be time to talk to a professional who can help you get to the bottom of the why you have stopped trusting your own judgment and get you onto a healthier path.

The great news is you are acknowledging that there is a problem by writing me and understanding that something needs to change. You are half way there to changing your life and you have dealt with the hardest part already.

Please watch the video above to hear to hear more on this topic. Wishing you much happiness and love in your future partnership. You are special, always remember that.

Sybersue xo

Susan McCord (aka Dear Sybersue) The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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Dear Sybersue
Dating/Relationship Coach, Advice Talk Show Host, Author & Advice Columnist

Susan McCord known as "Dear Sybersue" around the Web, helps millennials and gen-exers find love and inspiration. As a mature woman, she has "been there done that" and has so many T-shirts she can open a store! Susan believes that we are all special and deserving of happiness. People get lost along [...]

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