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Aftershocks

RachelintheOC
RachelintheOC Founder, CEO, Author, Mom, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate
over 1 year California, United States Story
Aftershocks

My beautiful man, strong, sexy, musky, masculine. I take him in, he holds me to him. I'm enveloped, lost in where I want to be. 

Nothing amiss, nothing I could feel anyway. I know my way. 

And then memory punches me with brutal force and I stop, I move, I float away.

"Baby?" he asks, and I barely hear him in the fog of the thick cloud surrounding me, memory drowning out his voice, no longer feeling his warm skin against mine. 

He is my anchor, my protector, but even he cannot navigate his way over this jagged road. Not because he won't try, because he will. Not because I won't allow it, because I do. 

It's because I don't know. I don't see it yet...the flashes of terror, swerving tendrils passing my periphery, target practice, a near-miss, a direct hit. My body a tight ball of numbness. Neither of us knows how to recognize it. Like children in a foreign land, we instinctively huddle together to solve a problem we haven't figured out yet. 

I can't find my way. 

I retreat into sleep without letting him hold me. It kills him, but he gives me that. Tears in the morning, holding the messy shame of the forty-year-old memory right there in my open hand for him to see. Flesh and hair, genitals and lips -- the human body much the same for us all; it's only the experiences that change. 

That change us. 

He holds me now as I cry, apologizes for not seeing, for not knowing. It's okay -- I didn't know either. "It's not your war to fight," I say. 

I get lost sometimes. 

I've traveled this road for many decades and I still don't know how to go. I am a wanderer, traversing mountains of time. There is no fault, only fault lines that tremor and quake, barring me, no warning. 

Aftershocks. 

I tremble as I calm, breathing restored, realizing it will always be there, waiting in the shadows. 

This battle I know. 

I know my way. 

~ Broken Places, Rachel Thompson 



available now on Amazon and all other online retailers. Broken Pieces is also available in ebook and print. Look for Broken People soon! 


visit my advocacy projects page to learn how to speak your story! 




7 replies

  • Kelly Hudson
    over 1 year ago

    Gripping post. You are a great writer. Is this book in stores too?

    Gripping post. You are a great writer. Is this book in stores too?

    • RachelintheOC
      RachelintheOC Founder, CEO, Author, Mom, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate
      over 1 year ago

      Hi Kelly! thank you so much. and YES! Broken Places is available at Barnes and Noble, though in some stores you have to order it first (they are very strict about the inventory in the bigger stores) and some indie bookstores also. B&N and Amazon also sell the print versions if that's more convenient for you as well (as well as the eBook version). Broken Pieces is the first book in the series. I'm writing the last one, Broken People, right now. xx

      Hi Kelly! thank you so much. and YES! Broken Places is available at Barnes and Noble, though in some stores you have to order it first (they are very strict about the inventory in the bigger stores) and some indie bookstores also. B&N and Amazon also sell the print versions if that's more convenient for you as well (as well as the eBook version). Broken Pieces is the first book in the series. I'm writing the last one, Broken People, right now. xx

    • RachelintheOC
      RachelintheOC Founder, CEO, Author, Mom, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate
      over 1 year ago

      I added all the links so you can click if you want to order online (sorry, I should have done that #doh lol).

      I added all the links so you can click if you want to order online (sorry, I should have done that #doh lol).

  • Anna Martinez 48
    over 1 year ago

    Very powerful. Will have to check out the book.

    Very powerful. Will have to check out the book.

    • RachelintheOC
      RachelintheOC Founder, CEO, Author, Mom, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate
      over 1 year ago

      Thank you, Anna! I appreciate you reading and kind comments xx

      Thank you, Anna! I appreciate you reading and kind comments xx

  • Kristen Nicole
    2mo ago

    Thank you for sharing this! Really hit me. I read it about three times just feeling... less alone I guess in a weird way. Can't wait to read your books!


    Thank you for sharing this! Really hit me. I read it about three times just feeling... less alone I guess in a weird way. Can't wait to read your books!


    • RachelintheOC
      RachelintheOC Founder, CEO, Author, Mom, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate
      2mo ago

      Thank you, Kristen! I'm so glad it resonated with you. These triggers come out of nowhere, which makes them so hard to navigate. This one helped me though -- because now I KNOW. So like anything, it's a learning experience, if that makes sense. xoxo

      Thank you, Kristen! I'm so glad it resonated with you. These triggers come out of nowhere, which makes them so hard to navigate. This one helped me though -- because now I KNOW. So like anything, it's a learning experience, if that makes sense. xoxo


RachelintheOC
Founder, CEO, Author, Mom, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Advocate

Author of The BadRedhead Media Book Marketing Challenge, and the award-winning, bestselling BROKEN PLACES, BROKEN PIECES books, inspiring #sexabuse survivors. Survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and advocate for women and children. Partnered with Sayfty.com to create Speak Our Stories, allowing [...]

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