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#MyDreamistobemoreconfidentinmyself.Howdoyoumanageself-doubtandcomparison?

Kaushikee
over 1 year Dublin, CA, USA Conversation

I'll be the first to say that identifying your faults and being self-critical is imperative. However, I feel like I'm always second-guessing myself and overthinking every decision I make. I've been trying to improve my sense of self-worth and increase my confidence in my decisions. I've also found myself comparing myself to others, even my friends, and evaluating my decisions in the context of theirs. I know comparing yourself to others is never a good thing but it's almost instinctual at this point. Further, though everyone knows believing in yourself is a good thing, I've found its easier said than done.

How do you manage self-doubt and comparison? How do you, in your own life, stay grounded and confident in yourself?

12 replies

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  • Danielle Tran
    Danielle Tran Aspiring Storyteller/GirlGrowingUpAsianInAmerica/RopeDancer/ElephantInTheRoom
    over 1 year ago My Happy Place Ave. :)

    I definitely relate to you! I constantly feel as if what I'm doing is not enough, and when I work towards one goal, everybody else seems to be a step ahead of me. For me, I always try to take pride in the little things. Whether it be holding the door open for someone, shooting a quick smile at a stranger, or even picking up a crumpled piece of paper from the ground, I think simply by doing these smaller actions builds an individual towards being a better person. And, ultimately, as these smaller actions continue mounting, they become the motivation for your larger-scale actions. 


    So maybe there's the point where, by participating in these small actions, you won't receive the same recognition as you would by, say, winning a state championship. However, this is something I find extremely empowering because, when nobody else sees you recycle that crumpled paper, that leaves nobody else but YOU to tell yourself, "Good job! You did the right thing." And the more you tell yourself that, the more confidence you will have. :)

    I definitely relate to you! I constantly feel as if what I'm doing is not enough, and when I work towards one goal, everybody else seems to be a step ahead of me. For me, I always try to take pride in the little things. Whether it be holding the door open for someone, shooting a quick smile at a stranger, or even picking up a crumpled piece of paper from the ground, I think simply by doing these smaller actions builds an individual towards being a better person. And, ultimately, as these smaller actions continue mounting, they become the motivation for your larger-scale actions. 


    So maybe there's the point where, by participating in these small actions, you won't receive the same recognition as you would by, say, winning a state championship. However, this is something I find extremely empowering because, when nobody else sees you recycle that crumpled paper, that leaves nobody else but YOU to tell yourself, "Good job! You did the right thing." And the more you tell yourself that, the more confidence you will have. :)

    • Kaushikee
      over 1 year ago Dublin, CA, USA

      That's so true Danielle. I wish I had that mentality when I was your age. It's so easy to lose track of the little things but they're just as important as your long-term aspirations. Besides, sometimes making someone smile is even more important than scoring that perfect score. Making people happy will always be more gratifying and will help calm you down too. 

      That's so true Danielle. I wish I had that mentality when I was your age. It's so easy to lose track of the little things but they're just as important as your long-term aspirations. Besides, sometimes making someone smile is even more important than scoring that perfect score. Making people happy will always be more gratifying and will help calm you down too. 

  • Mihika Sharma
    Mihika Sharma Dublin High Chapter President
    over 1 year ago Dublin, California

    I totally relate to this. I think the only way to become more confident in myself is to allow myself to experience more things. You live and you learn, as cliche as that sounds. I'll never be able to fully trust myself, my instincts, or anybody else at this point, because I haven't lived enough to know that what I am doing is right. I'm not quite sure how to put this in words, but you just have to experience it. When you make decisions, of course you never know for sure how something is going to turn out. Take risks, and learn from your mistakes. It's something I'm still trying to do today!

    I totally relate to this. I think the only way to become more confident in myself is to allow myself to experience more things. You live and you learn, as cliche as that sounds. I'll never be able to fully trust myself, my instincts, or anybody else at this point, because I haven't lived enough to know that what I am doing is right. I'm not quite sure how to put this in words, but you just have to experience it. When you make decisions, of course you never know for sure how something is going to turn out. Take risks, and learn from your mistakes. It's something I'm still trying to do today!

    • Kaushikee
      over 1 year ago Dublin, CA, USA

      It's definitely not cliche. I completely understand what you're saying. Confidence is something that's acquired over time and requires taking risks. After all, if you don't try you'll never know. I've realized recently that it's better to learn from the mistakes than regretting not giving something a chance.

      It's definitely not cliche. I completely understand what you're saying. Confidence is something that's acquired over time and requires taking risks. After all, if you don't try you'll never know. I've realized recently that it's better to learn from the mistakes than regretting not giving something a chance.

  • Jasmine Oang
    over 1 year ago

    @Kaushikee I find this so relatable especially with our academic conversation earlier. I think self-doubt is rooted in everyone but for us, we channel it into ambition. Along the same lines, instead of doubting, channel that ambitious young woman inside of you and try to visualize your goals and life like a puzzle. See if that decision fits. Even if it doesn't seem to at first, with a little twisting and turning, it may end up being the right piece. But keep in mind, some puzzles are harder to solve than others but, more importantly, everyone's approach to solving a puzzle is unique. Hopefully, that makes sense.

    @Kaushikee I find this so relatable especially with our academic conversation earlier. I think self-doubt is rooted in everyone but for us, we channel it into ambition. Along the same lines, instead of doubting, channel that ambitious young woman inside of you and try to visualize your goals and life like a puzzle. See if that decision fits. Even if it doesn't seem to at first, with a little twisting and turning, it may end up being the right piece. But keep in mind, some puzzles are harder to solve than others but, more importantly, everyone's approach to solving a puzzle is unique. Hopefully, that makes sense.

    • Kaushikee
      over 1 year ago Dublin, CA, USA

      @Jasmine Oang I couldn't agree more. It's incredibly important to find productive outlets for self-doubt and figure out what works best for you. Finding that balance between self-criticism and overthinking each of your decisions is vital.

      @Jasmine Oang I couldn't agree more. It's incredibly important to find productive outlets for self-doubt and figure out what works best for you. Finding that balance between self-criticism and overthinking each of your decisions is vital.

    • Kaushikee
      [deleted]
      over 1 year ago Dublin, CA, USA

      [deleted]

      [deleted]

  • Bethany Heinrich
    Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
    over 1 year ago New York, NY, United States

    I would also recommend making a list of your accomplishments to date to remind yourself how amazing you are! And read notes of encouragement from the past. Those are things that have definitely helped me when I am feeling low. 

    I would also recommend making a list of your accomplishments to date to remind yourself how amazing you are! And read notes of encouragement from the past. Those are things that have definitely helped me when I am feeling low. 

    • Kaushikee
      over 1 year ago Dublin, CA, USA

      I love that. I'll have to pull out all those cards and notes from the past because they'll definitely help put my self-doubt in check. It's always helpful to know there are people who believe in you and there to support you. @Bethany Heinrich Thanks!

      I love that. I'll have to pull out all those cards and notes from the past because they'll definitely help put my self-doubt in check. It's always helpful to know there are people who believe in you and there to support you. @Bethany Heinrich Thanks!

      • Bethany Heinrich
        Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
        over 1 year ago New York, NY, United States

        You are welcome! I absolutely know how you feel and it's really helpful to have those check in times to remind one self of your worth. Even if we are not where we want to be, we have to remind ourselves of how far we've come, and to be grateful for every day. 

        You are welcome! I absolutely know how you feel and it's really helpful to have those check in times to remind one self of your worth. Even if we are not where we want to be, we have to remind ourselves of how far we've come, and to be grateful for every day. 

  • Bethany Heinrich
    Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
    over 1 year ago New York, NY, United States

    I hear you @Kaushikee and I battle this daily. For me, I try to remind myself that with social media, it's not the real image, but the one we most want displayed, and that everyone has their own path. Easier said than done to not look right or left, but it's important to remember. 

    I hear you @Kaushikee and I battle this daily. For me, I try to remind myself that with social media, it's not the real image, but the one we most want displayed, and that everyone has their own path. Easier said than done to not look right or left, but it's important to remember. 

    • Kaushikee
      over 1 year ago Dublin, CA, USA

      This is amazing advice. I hadn't even considered social media, though it's clear we're all comparing ourselves constantly on those platforms. Maybe the influx of technology is the reason why this has become so much more prominent. Either way, remembering to focus on yourself is important advice that is definitely not overrated. I'll have to jot this down in my planner so I can start my day off with this perspective. 

      This is amazing advice. I hadn't even considered social media, though it's clear we're all comparing ourselves constantly on those platforms. Maybe the influx of technology is the reason why this has become so much more prominent. Either way, remembering to focus on yourself is important advice that is definitely not overrated. I'll have to jot this down in my planner so I can start my day off with this perspective. 


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