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Howtohaveatalkwithanex.

NNM
NNM
17d India Question

My ex and I met after 5 years of the break up recently. We behaved as mature adults and tried maintaining a cordial friendship for the next few days. Then we met again one evening and we had a talk about us. He was apologetic about the last time we broke up and after a long talk we decided to give it a try again. 

He said he'd change and give more attention to the relationship but it felt like he was the same so I told him that it wouldn't work out and we should remain friends. He said he never meant for things to go sour again between us and that he will continue to love me (I wasn't bitter but I just couldn't waste time in an uncertain relationship). But he also wasn't clear on whether he wanted a relationship or not. We have decided to meet again today to set our priorities straight.

I'm just worried that we might get emotional again during the talk and I'll be stuck in a relationship that's not going anywhere, again.

What should I do?

7 comments

  • Bethany Heinrich
    Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
    17d ago

    @NNM this is a hard one and I hear you for sure. I would just try as much as possible to think with your head and not with your heart. It seems like you know he's not a good match for you in the long run and so if you can meet up with him and just see him as a friend who is not meant to be your person, then you should be okay. 

    @NNM this is a hard one and I hear you for sure. I would just try as much as possible to think with your head and not with your heart. It seems like you know he's not a good match for you in the long run and so if you can meet up with him and just see him as a friend who is not meant to be your person, then you should be okay. 

  • NNM
    NNM
    16d ago

    Thanks everyone. We met and spoke. Decided that it was best that we don't get back together. He's a wonderful person. Just not a good boyfriend. I love him but I know I need someone who loves me as much as I love them and someone who puts in that effort. It hurt a lot to say my final goodbye to him but I know I did it for the good of both of us. 

    Thanks everyone. We met and spoke. Decided that it was best that we don't get back together. He's a wonderful person. Just not a good boyfriend. I love him but I know I need someone who loves me as much as I love them and someone who puts in that effort. It hurt a lot to say my final goodbye to him but I know I did it for the good of both of us. 

    • Maddy Bernstein
      16d ago

      So glad you are okay @NNM It's good to have closure. Now it opens you up to meet someone else who could be the right person! 

      So glad you are okay @NNM It's good to have closure. Now it opens you up to meet someone else who could be the right person! 

  • Bethany Heinrich
    Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
    17d ago

    @Elizabeth Stone @Zoosk @Dear Sybersue @Shahida Arabi do you all have advice on this? 

    @Elizabeth Stone @Zoosk @Dear Sybersue @Shahida Arabi do you all have advice on this? 

    • Dear Sybersue
      Dear Sybersue Dating/Relationship Talk Show Host, Author, Life Coach & Advice Columnist
      17d ago

      Always listen to your instincts as they are never wrong and don’t get talked into something because you feel pressured. It sounds like your mind is made up not to rekindle your relationship with him. Listen to your gut! 

      Always listen to your instincts as they are never wrong and don’t get talked into something because you feel pressured. It sounds like your mind is made up not to rekindle your relationship with him. Listen to your gut! 

    • Elizabeth Stone
      Elizabeth Stone Founder and CEO of AttractTheOne.com
      15d ago

      Lots of the time people who are unhappy in relationships just torture themselves having "talks" that don't go anywhere-- then wonder why talking about unhappy things and situations makes them more unhappy. 


      Happy people talk about happy things.

      Lots of the time people who are unhappy in relationships just torture themselves having "talks" that don't go anywhere-- then wonder why talking about unhappy things and situations makes them more unhappy. 


      Happy people talk about happy things.


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