Share Knowledge With Women Worldwide

Connect, converse, and share knowledge with millions of women across 196 countries and 34,470 cities.

Post Now

Amandancedwithme,kissedme,thengotmynumber.Thenextday,Ifoundoutthroughsocialmediaheismarried,with2kids.Shouldhiswifeknow?

Georgina Purcell
Georgina Purcell Business Owner
5mo New York, NY, United States Conversation

I rarely go out, but recently went out with my friend to a bar.

At the bar, we were approached by two men -- both good-looking, seemingly nice, and highly successful.

One of the men (who is a business owner) spent the evening speaking with me and connecting on the point that we both lead businesses, complimenting me, hugging me, buying me drinks, dancing with me (very closely), then kissing me. At the end, he got my number, before telling me he had to leave for a flight that next morning to meet with investors in Miami.

One additional detail: at some point in the evening, one of his employees -- by chance -- stopped by the same bar for her birthday party. He seemed highly perturbed that she was there, and ended up telling me that he had to go talk to her so she would promise not to mention to the rest of his company that she saw him there that night. I didn't really think much of it. 

I'm a fairly trusting person, so it all seemed genuine -- until my friend and I started to compare things the men had said of each other, and those things were conflicting. For example, the man who had spent the evening with me told me he lived alone in Soho/Financial District, but his friend mentioned to my friend that the man lived nearby him in Brooklyn.

On social media, sure enough, it showed the man really did live in Brooklyn. 

With his wife. 

And his two kids.

Photos showed they were married for the past 10 years, and the most recent photo of them and their kids together was from 2.5 months ago.

Every other part of what he said checked out -- like he said, he ran a real estate investment firm, he was an adjunct professor a Columbia University, etc.

Long story short, my friend and I feel terrible now -- terrible that his wife likely has no clue of his philandering behavior, and terrible that he essentially fooled me/played me and my friend.

So my question to you is: My friend has friends in common with the wife. Would you go ahead and let your friend let the wife know what happened that night? Or just let it go, and not let it be your problem?

Thanks so much for your help! I'm really looking forward to your advice and words of support. I still feel terrible about all this.

7 replies

As a guest user, you can still reply to conversations. Just press the "Reply" button below, which will prompt you to sign in or sign up on Mogul before your Reply posts.

  • Bethany Heinrich
    Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
    5mo ago New York, NY, United States

    oh man. well, part of me feels like you should let her know. was it harmless flirtation looking back or did it tip into the line of them picking you up? It sounds more like a true pick up, but just want to be sure.

    oh man. well, part of me feels like you should let her know. was it harmless flirtation looking back or did it tip into the line of them picking you up? It sounds more like a true pick up, but just want to be sure.

    • Georgina Purcell
      Georgina Purcell Business Owner
      5mo ago New York, NY, United States

      It was definitely not harmless flirtation, and definitely into the line of them picking me up.


      In the past, I have been emotionally and physically cheated on, and looking back, I had always wished that someone had let me know. I think the wife might appreciate the same here, too.

      It was definitely not harmless flirtation, and definitely into the line of them picking me up.


      In the past, I have been emotionally and physically cheated on, and looking back, I had always wished that someone had let me know. I think the wife might appreciate the same here, too.

      • Bethany Heinrich
        Bethany Heinrich Mogul Influencer
        5mo ago New York, NY, United States

        Yes I agree. I would let her know

        Yes I agree. I would let her know

  • Juli
    Juli 🙀
    5mo ago Brooklyn, NY, United States

    Oh wow I’m so sorry you had to experience this! I have no idea how can anyone do this with their wives, children, and women like you, and also look themselfves in the mirror every morning afterwards. It’s very sad that it’s almost impossible to trust people in the dating scene these days. :( A part of me wants to say that the wife deserves to know what her husband did (and probably does on a regular basis). On the other hand though, you should keep yourself he highest priority in this case, in my opinion, and ask yourself - would you feel better if you told his wife? Does it worth your time, energy, and the potential negativity and drama? Only you know the best what to do to stay through to yourself and your own principles. If it was me, I would probably text the guy, and let him know that I  know about the wife and kids, and would ask him how can he look at them in the eye every day. And, this might be selfish from my end, but I probably wouldn’t let the wife know, for my own sake. But with that said, as soon as I wrote that down, it feels wrong not to let her know. Ah this is a very sensitive and difficult situation. Not sure what would be the best advice here :/

    Oh wow I’m so sorry you had to experience this! I have no idea how can anyone do this with their wives, children, and women like you, and also look themselfves in the mirror every morning afterwards. It’s very sad that it’s almost impossible to trust people in the dating scene these days. :( A part of me wants to say that the wife deserves to know what her husband did (and probably does on a regular basis). On the other hand though, you should keep yourself he highest priority in this case, in my opinion, and ask yourself - would you feel better if you told his wife? Does it worth your time, energy, and the potential negativity and drama? Only you know the best what to do to stay through to yourself and your own principles. If it was me, I would probably text the guy, and let him know that I  know about the wife and kids, and would ask him how can he look at them in the eye every day. And, this might be selfish from my end, but I probably wouldn’t let the wife know, for my own sake. But with that said, as soon as I wrote that down, it feels wrong not to let her know. Ah this is a very sensitive and difficult situation. Not sure what would be the best advice here :/

    • Juli
      Juli 🙀
      5mo ago Brooklyn, NY, United States

      *stat true to yourself (not through)

      *stat true to yourself (not through)

      • Georgina Purcell
        Georgina Purcell Business Owner
        5mo ago New York, NY, United States

        Thank you so much for this advice. I'm still torn on what to do -- tell him directly then, or tell his wife. Ah, I think I might just keep quiet then. :( I don't know.

        Thank you so much for this advice. I'm still torn on what to do -- tell him directly then, or tell his wife. Ah, I think I might just keep quiet then. :( I don't know.

        • Juli
          Juli 🙀
          5mo ago Brooklyn, NY, United States

          Hm maybe your friend can ask the mutual friends, and mention to them what happened? They might know the guy better, and it’s also possible that they were already having issues (the guy and the wife), who knows. Not saying that that would make things okay, but maybe you can find out more information on them this way, without having to involve yourself directly? 

          Hm maybe your friend can ask the mutual friends, and mention to them what happened? They might know the guy better, and it’s also possible that they were already having issues (the guy and the wife), who knows. Not saying that that would make things okay, but maybe you can find out more information on them this way, without having to involve yourself directly? 

          • Rachel Borowicz
            [deleted]
            5mo ago San Francisco, CA, United States

            [deleted]

            [deleted]

          • Rachel Borowicz
            [deleted]
            5mo ago San Francisco, CA, United States

            [deleted]

            [deleted]


Georgina Purcell
Business Owner

Report this post
Report this post

Want your dream job or internship?

Join the women worldwide who discovered their next opportunity on Mogul.

Get My Dream Job Now

Moguls Interested in Love & Relationships

Want your dream job or internship?

Join the women worldwide who discovered their next opportunity on Mogul.

Get My Dream Job Now

Trending Stories

See All Stories

Trending Jobs

See All Jobs