Starbucks is life, is it not? I mean, we aren’t saying it’s the best coffee on the planet, but can you really imagine a life without Starbucks? Where would you meet up for Tinder dates? Where would 15 minute interviews be conducted? Where would half-focused college students attempt to finish their studying? And c’mon, you know you have a usual there. Wouldn’t you like to know what your what your Barista is thinking when you order it?
What You’re Thinking: How cool does caramel macchiato sound? I sound like a legit coffee connoisseur. Car-a-mel macchiato. I bet it sounds cooler with an accent. I should try that next time.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: Another caramel macchiato? Good thing these are easy to make. This stuff is basically caramel flavored milk… why do people pay $6 for it?
What You’re Thinking: My comfort classic. It’s so dependable, always there for me. Just like my Dr. Scholl’s insoles. Vanilla latte, you never let me down.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: I wonder if she always gets this drink. She looks pretty safe. Vanilla ice-cream, vanilla cookie, vanilla life. Hm. She looks like she’d make a good employee too. And those shoes look super comfortable.
What You’re Thinking: Should I get it hot or iced? It was pretty warm at the farmer’s market; I think I’ll get it iced. I wonder if that’s recycled plastic they’re using. Woah, no splenda thanks.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: No sugar, I get it. Dont look at me like I just killed someone! Because you probably could. Your shoulders are more defined than mine. Dang.
Vanilla Bean Frappuccino
What You’re Thinking: Yuck, coffee. Why did I even come here? I should’ve just gotten a shake at McDonald’s. Oh well, at least I can Instagram this.
What Your Barista Is Thinking: Why are these still even on the menu? This isn’t even coffee. Such a guilty pleasure though. Like Ke$ha. Does she still make music?
What You’re Thinking: 6th cup today, hurry up buddy. Got shit to do!
What Your Barista Is Thinking: I’m gonna pour this one exxttrrraaa sloooowww. Nobody’s that busy asshole!
Quad Half-Caf Breve No Foam With Whip Two Splenda Stirred Skinny Three Pump Peppermint Mocha
What You’re Thinking: Did I say that all right? I wonder which ordering of the words would make more sense. Calorie count 232. Workout count 574. Phew, in the clear! Oh no, did I just chip a nail?
What Your Barista Is Thinking: Are you kidding me? Does your handbag Yorkie want something too? Resist the urge to top it up with cream, you can do it!!
For more on love, visit MOGUL Partner NeverLikedItAnyway.com.
You Might Also Like
This Is What Happened When I Told Him I Didn't Want To Have Sex
An Open Letter to My Friend in Medical School
Never Liked It Anyway is the sassy, powerful, and playful eBay for breakups — the place to go to buy, sell, and tell all things ex. It's the number one resource for moving on and bouncing back to your most fabulous self.