often we say "I love you" with one eye opened and teeth touching
we say "i love you" like it is just brushing off of our face
we say it with clenched fists and broken hearts, noses and lives
we say it with a twisted mind and a soul that is too tired to ever live by. we say it with hands that are too small for something we could have and too big for something that we couldn't.
we say it abruptly, spontaneously and often we say it with minds hovering around the idea that this, this love we claim to have will end every drop of misery in our lives.
but darling, this is not the kind of love you are supposed to have.
a friend once told me that loving comes from within as how the sun slowly engulfs the darkness, eating away every bit of that pitch black it had harbored inside; only realizing at the end of the day that it had not really touched it, a mere brush, a peck on the cheek
that it will come back again by six in the evening
it will come back
it comes back
sometimes with scattered showers
and it will drench your feet and drown you
until you gasp for air, trying to breathe
you did try and
that's when you thought of his smile that you love more than the cherry topped chocolate cupcake made by your mom everytime you turn a year old, that's when you value him more than the poster of Winona Ryder with one hand on her hips and the other pointed at you as if she's telling you that darling this this is how you define beauty, that's when you thought that your playlist had turned into this set of songs trapped inside your crooked heart due to continuous rambling writhing and
like how leaves do before November
kisses our earthly ground
this, this is not the kind of love youre supposed to have
you deserve the kind of love
you give and more than that
you deserve the love that surpasses
and transcends everything,
you deserve a deep, immense and immeasurable kind of love
you deserve a love that's not too much or too little, just enough so you could
sleep on it at nights you thought darkness could eat you
darling you deserve the kind of love that would let you dream
peacefully under your sheets
you deserve love more than that "love" you think you deserve
because you are
truer than true
creation of God
you deseve a love more than words could describe
i know you do
so go and stay alive beautiful,
Not one boy,
Not one mistake,
could hold you back.
You deserve more.