It’s not always easy to get along with the people you work with. Unlike with friends (and even family, to an extent), you can be thrown into a group with a lot of different personality types and be forced to spend time and collaborate with them. Inevitably, at some point you will encounter someone you just can’t stand. Instead of letting this make you miserable, turn it into a positive learning experience.
Mindfulness and compassion are two key elements in acceptance. Being able to observe and understand without judgment is difficult, but it will allow you to peel away those layers of discomfort you find yourself “wearing” each time you encounter a person you don’t want to spend time around.
Try to get to know the person. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it may just give you some insight into why they rub you the wrong way. There could just be a minor misunderstanding that has been creating the friction. Good ways to break the ice including asking them where they’re from originally, finding common ground such as kids or a mutually enjoyed sport, or other fairly neutral topics that can let you bond.
Show compassion. That old adage, “Kill them with kindness” can actually go a long way toward helping you break through to them.
Don’t gossip about the person, no matter how much they annoy you. Unless they are doing something that breaks the rules of your company or just common decency, it’s best to not air your dislike. Gossip can turn into a very ugly monster very quickly. If you must discuss it, take it through proper channels, such as a supervisor.
Remind yourself not to take their personality flaws to heart. It’s likely not a personal attack – they may just have trouble relating to you or others around them.
If all else fails, avoid the individual when possible, making necessary interactions completely professional. The less fuel for the fire, the less damage can be done.
Thanks for reading. If this was valuable to you, I’d be honored if you followed me on Twitter Devin C. Hughes, where I share the latest research on happiness, mindfulness and human performance, and subscribe to my newsletter, where an earlier version of this article appeared.
Devin C. Hughes, is a highly sought after speaker, author, happiness muse, mindfulness trainer & executive coach. He is the author of seven books and his approach draws from the science of positive psychology, positive organizational research, appreciative inquiry, neuroscience, mindset and mindfulness.
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