If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong.....
Well for those who have known me or have read articles I've published all this while would know, it has always circled around words of heartbreaks, whims, unrequited ..For the first time I sat down to pen down something that I've never done before. After a lot of hurly-burly , emotional turmoil , giving up and falling back , when I'd almost given up ,life came round the corners carrying this little present and I just couldn't figure out how to pen all this "rushes" down. I've always been this Ted Mosby in matters of love and as he said "You can ask the universe for signs all you want ,but ultimately we only see what we want to see , when we are ready to see".
So that's that. When you love someone you just, you..you don't stop . Ever. Not even when people around roll their eyes on you and call you crazy especially then because if you stopped it would be like any other disposable thing that's not worth fighting for.So here was this 3a.m. partner of mine who knocked in when my life was apparently in this mess ,I was stuck in. The chivalrous ,humble person who was all very sober and kind to tolerate any tantrums I threw at him. As it goes broken people either mend or break even more . My kryptonite. Moments ,memories, tears and giggles make us who we are today.
Life happens, so does love and when it does we barely know any reason , how where when..It just happens. So for the past two years there was this person who knowingly , unknowingly circled back and forth around my life. No matter how hard we tried to pull 'us' away somewhere something pulled back the reigns. To fall in love or rather be in love you don't need anything very extravagant it's just the little nuances that makes you kneel down. So this mister over here I tell you was apparently my muggle. His smile, the creaky sound of his laughter, the cringes near his eyes , the frown when he is engrossed in thoughts , the mole next to his nose, his smell the..the one that's there right behind near the ears drawing down to the neck..everything! it just swept me off my feet. Life's never that rosy ride where things fall in place just like you want them to ..Great things take time , you should always trust the timing in your life.
"You only need the light when it's burning low, you only miss the sun when it starts to snow". They say you are always a step behind, to a completely different life. Well things did take time for us. Circumstances and a number of cupids played their cameo but at the end it's the sunny sky across the silver lining that makes a mark after a cloudy day. That exactly is the funny thing about destiny , it happens whether you plan it or not.
So it was this night of April first dawning to second when I was apparently in no state to comprehend what was exactly happening. Four pegs down and all I remember was blurting out words which I'd always restricted when sober and to the little good that I might have done in this life I got this boon.
As I read the message it was something like dwelling in parallel time zones couldn't figure out if it were real or just another hallucinated thought. When it was morning I found myself waking up as if I had the best sleep ever and that's the thing , the great moments in your life won't necessarily be the things you do, they'll also be the things that happen to you. "He said yes , so did I" Sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for better things. We had to move away just to get back .
And after all that happened I'd say "You make me incandescently happy Mr. D and I'm hopelessly irretrievably in love with you. I can't vow that I'd be perfect but I promise I'll love you with everything that I've got."
"Love doesn't make sense. You can't logic your way into or out of it. It is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it , or else we are lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do."