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    Hi Savannah, having the courage to let go of someone bad for you is the first step. A painful one when your heart loves them, but a necessary one if you know he's not good for you. Letting go of someone is a process and it takes time, sometimes therapy, support from loved ones, and being gentle with yourself. You are not trapped! You are amazing and a strong woman. Remember that it's better to be single and standing strong as a woman than to be with a poisonous person in your life. If you feel in danger with this person, and I'm not implying you are but just in case, please contact someone to get help. You are wonderful. Remember that!

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    Counseling is great, at anytime. Especially since things are "an ongoing battle", that sounds difficult. Since you are dating, not married? Maybe put a time limit goal to determine if this relationship meets your needs and that you both have compatible goals. Everyone deserves to have their needs met and be loved in a mutually beneficial committed relationship. Is there a baby on the way? That could contribute to the tiredness and more pressure on a dating relationship. Congrats on considering couples counseling. Go for it. Best of luck and love!

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    Tough question. What is the difference between a closed adoption verses an open one?

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    Believe or not, this had happended to me too, the idea of crashing hard, and I guessed it should have happened to a lot and a lot of people in life as well. No one is completely spared by stress! The most important is learn how to deal with it.

    While I do not pretend to know everything but, from learning from others, here is what I did or told myself. Just close your eyes and wonder "whatever worries or hurts you or your ppride or feelings, would it matter ten years from now?", "what if you would lose everything but still alive and healthy?" and last but not least is to try to live in the moment, meaning that you will still think of or planning on the future but only live in the present tense, meaning right now and right there wherever you are.

    Try it and tell us what you think. These three things had helped keep me from going insane when I had to take care of children and dealt with a lot of other iissues and worries in my life and I have to report that many years later, I am still alive and healthy. All ofthis is only because of love my husband gave me and because somewhere donw the road I had learned to ask me or remind me of those three things above.

    Good luck to you and remember you are not alone! -:)

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    Welcome back, Savannah!

  • I Can't Change it But I Still Wonder
    Story Love & Relationships
    Clock over 2 years

    I Can't Change it But I Still Wonder

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    I agree, if we can get more resources and improvements from technology then I say go for it. However, have you thought about the impact that technology has had on our young people of 2015? If you ask me I say that 95% of it is ALL bad and that there is no way around that. Kids bullying through text and online, posting pics that can ruin their whole life in the career world. Making it so easy for children to sext and have secret relationships with full grown people. Where kids don't know math because everything is calculators and computers. Where some students will never pick up a book and where you can flunk classes bc no matter what there will always be some kid of job? Idk... I think that kids don't have to work as hard bc there are ways to manipulate technology to cheat and excel without even trying. That's why I had my origianal post... I used my cell phone to literally be lazy. Once upon a time that would not have been heard of even from me. When I was younger you had to walk ALL the way up to the TV to fast forward the VCR lol. Technology has affected me in a positive and negative way.

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    Wow, Savannah, thank you so much for letting me know this inspiring revelation you had with regards to your boyfriend. You are right that there are two sides to any story, and that every one has internal struggles and a story behind why they act the way they act. I have to admit that I felt I was doing everything in our relationship -- and I did not think of what factors might be contributing to him letting me initiate everything as of late. After giving him some distance (without telling him explicitly so), I took the time to really think about what might be going on behind the scenes with him. Finally, I asked him when he started reaching out again, wondering where I had gone. It turns out that his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. :( And the news had hit him really hard with shock. That was why he was not being so proactive with me -- because his mind was so preoccupied with family matters. The space I gave him was exactly what he had needed to focus on this important matter at hand with his mother.

    So I wanted to thank you so much, Savannah, for your kind advice. Without you, I might have not thought to just directly ask him for transparency on what might be occupying his mind, what was keeping him up at night. It was the best thing I could have done for us to remain close. Thank you again Savannah.

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    Hi Savannah, after you helped me with my boyfriend, it's my great pleasure to help you! I think it sounds like while your boyfriend loves you a lot, he needs to be (1) less insecure about himself and (2) trust you. It really seems to drill down to these 2 issues with him. I would re-emphasize to him how much you love him, and why this job would be an incredible opportunity for you -- one that would not come around again for a long while. How will the skills you learn from the job -- the benefits you gain -- help your future as well as your future with him? Make him realize that this is a decision you are making for the good of the both of you. As for the trust issue, he must realize that, if he really loves you, he must let you be the free and independent and strong woman that you are -- and with that kind of support and openness from him, you will continue to love him if you are meant to be. If he constantly shields you from pursuing outside opportunities because you might encounter people and things that he cannot control, then you'll become resentful over time wondering what could have been. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship -- if not the most. He needs to let you be you, and pursue this job. Let me know what you decide! I really hope you go for it! You sound so incredibly talented and smart -- he is a lucky guy. You deserve to go for this!

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